


Earth's Mightiest Defenders

by camichats



Category: Marvel, The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Avengers Tower, Ben Hargreeves Lives, Crossover, Diego Hargreeves-centric, Dimension Travel, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Injury, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Post-Season/Series 02, Pseudo-Incest, Relationship Reveal, Scars, Secrets, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Team Zero (Umbrella Academy)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: After dealing with the Commission and another apocalypse, Five tries to jump them home. A slight miscalculation ends with Ben being alive, all of them young, a completely new world, and a mysterious group of high profile superheroes that are willing to take them in.While dealing with that, Diego realizes that he's attracted Five. As if their lives weren't complicated enough.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 22
Kudos: 77





	1. This Isn't Home

**Author's Note:**

> Couple things! Self harm and suicide are mentioned in later chapters, but NEITHER HAPPENS or is thought about by the character in question, so I didn't feel the need to tag it (I'm bringing it up now, just in case. If anyone wants an additional warning for that chapter/scene, let me know)
> 
> The age regression brings Umbrella Academy to 18, the first chapter jumps POV but the majority of this fic is centered on Diego, and this is mostly a fic about Diego and Five getting together. For Umbrella Academy, things should be canon compliant until the very end of season 2. 
> 
> The Avengers are mostly MCU right after the 2012 Chitauri Battle of New York. Bucky and Sam are part of the Avengers line up at this time just because XD The only thing not really from MCU is Jan. The X-Men exist but do not make an appearance, and they are the only other supers mentioned-- no Fantastic Four or Doctor Strange to whisk the Umbrella Academy home. Jane Foster is mentioned, but Thor is not. 
> 
> This should be about... 10 chapters :D

This shift was easier easier than the first two had been to process, but that didn't mean it felt _good_. It wasn't as disconcerting as the first time shift had been (if only because he could tell that he wasn't completely alone this time), and it wasn't as nauseating as his first spatial shift had been. Five was beside him now, but everyone else was gone. That didn't stop Diego from spinning in a slow circle to double check. After all, what if they'd landed twenty feet away? He wasn't about to risk missing them just because he hadn't looked. 

But he came up blank. "Where's everyone else?" he asked. 

Five was similarly looking at their surroundings and grit his teeth. "I don't know," he ground out. 

"You're the expert here, do you at least have a guess?" Then Diego frowned at his voice. It didn't sound the way he was used to. He glanced down at his body and caught sight of a very familiar old uniform. "Oh _hell_ no. Five!" 

Five looked over at him and glared. "What." 

"Look at me!" Diego said, spreading his arms. "I'm a fucking kid again!" 

"I'd say you're more of a teenager, although it's just a guess since I didn't see you the first time you were a teenager." 

"I don't _want_ to be a fucking kid again. Or a teenager," he added quickly, when it looked like Five was about to correct him again. The exact age he'd turned was less important than the fact that his age had changed. He liked being thirty, thanks. 

"Do I look older?" Five asked. 

"What?" 

"Do I. Look. Older." 

He kind of looked like he was going to stab Diego if he said 'what' again, so Diego looked at him, more closely than before. "A little, yeah. I guess." Mostly he looked taller, but it was hard to know for sure when he didn't know how tall his own body was. He also looked more handsome and less cute, but like fuck was Diego going to say that to his face. "What does that matter?" 

"I was trying to bring us back to the start, like I wanted to after the apocalypse." 

"The one where Vanya blew up the moon?" Diego asked. After Vanya got kidnapped by the US government, they'd been on their way towards a second apocalypse, and he was pretty sure the Commission nearly massacring them should count towards that as well. He didn't really know if Five called both of them apocalypses though, especially since the moon one had gotten a lot closer to killing them than the second one had. 

Five nodded. "It had almost worked, so when I did it this time, I tried to match that same destination so that we'd all be kids at Umbrella Academy again and could fix everything." 'Everything' meaning their relationships with each other, which would in turn stop the moon apocalypse and keep Ben alive. There was no telling where Reginald was involved, though. 

Five squinted at the building in front of them, and Diego did the same. 

He hadn't noticed how _weird_ everything looked, but now that Five brought it to his attention, he couldn't help but see it. It's like the building was made out of mirrors and glass. He glanced out at the street and didn't recognize any of the models of cars-- they looked round, like all the edges of the car frames had been sanded down. The style of clothing that the other people on the street were wearing was similarly unfamiliar, not to mention that they must've been in a much more crowded city with all the bodies taking up the sidewalk. Not on the sidewalk next to them, but further down the street by the stoplight, it was like an arena full of people had let out. 

"It would appear I overshot again," Five said, sounding pissed. 

Diego didn't know if he was more upset about them not being in the proper time/place, or if he was more upset about having been wrong again. He wasn't going to ask. "Yeah. It doesn't really have the same overbearing feeling that the Academy had," Diego said, pretending that Five was only talking about the specific building they were in front of. "Maybe they knocked it down and built this instead." 

"The Academy was a historical building." 

Diego rolled his eyes. "Historical building or not, it was a fucking prison." 

"Maybe to you." 

"To all of us that couldn't warp in and out at will, you mean. I don't know why you'd want to go back there." 

Five should've smirked at the reminder of how superior he was, but he continued to glare at the building. 

"C'mon man, we can find a phone and give the Academy a call.” He didn’t want to risk talking to Reginald, but if they had a base of operations, it was the Academy. “Maybe somebody else ended up there." 

"Grace and Pogo could be alive," Five said, glancing at him. 

"Here's hoping." Seeing the real person that their mother had been based on made it weird to think of her, but he'd still be happy to see that she was okay. 

Diego looked to the right, then the left. They seemed the same to him. He didn't see a payphone, but they didn't have any change between the two of them for it anyways. Not every building had a phone, so they couldn't walk in and be guaranteed to find one. "So, which way?" 

* * *

"Well, that was kind of stupid." 

"Shut up, Ben," Klaus said, groaning. He didn't know how dear little Five jumped all the time when _this_ is what it felt like. If he were Five, he'd simply walk everywhere on his feet and maybe learn to drive a car while he was at it. Five already knew how to drive a car, though. He'd seen him do it in the sixties, but he didn't know where the hell he'd learned. Did the Commission give driving lessons? 

"Ben?" Luther said, sounding awed. 

"Wait, hold up," Klaus said, putting his hands up. "Time out on the field. You can see him?" He turned to face Luther, then froze. That wasn't the ape of a brother he'd started to get used to. That was Luther in his gangly prime, before he'd started to bulk up. He had on the Umbrella Academy uniform, topped off with his shiny blond hair that had grown into brown when he became an adult. 

"Yeah." 

"You can really see me?" Ben asked excitedly, stepping forward. 

Luther swept him up in a hug, and Ben laughed, delighted. 

Now that Klaus was looking for it, Ben was in his old uniform, too. He looked down at himself and saw the same unfortunate wardrobe. The last time he'd worn a blazer, he'd been... well, in the Academy. He hadn't missed it. He looked at his palms and saw that his tattoos were gone. He hadn't gotten them until after he left, so it stood to reason that Luther's body wasn't the only one that had been aged down a decade and a half. He still had the umbrella tattoo on his wrist. It was mostly hidden, but the top of it peeked out from under his sleeve. 

"Any idea where we are?" Luther asked, looking around. Always ready to be in charge, that guy. Klaus appreciated it, even if he chose to ignore him more often than not. Nothing personal, but sometimes his plans were shit. It was the same reason Klaus didn't always listen to Five, now that he was back. 

"I feel like a fair question would also be _when_ we are," Ben said. "If I'm alive again, there's no telling what year it is. Especially since we don't know what effect everyone's presence in the sixties had." 

"Or if it had any effect," Klaus added, because he hadn't been one for thinking ahead, and he'd like to think that he wasn't going to have to deal with the fallout. Ben hadn't been too judgmental of the cult in the beginning; it was only near the end that he'd started to really get on Klaus's case about it. So if Klaus could sidestep- oh, say, Luther and Five talking about it? That would be great. Diego, too. He liked to lecture, but he never really did anything about it the way Luther did. Still, he didn't want to listen to a lecture. These baby ears weren't made for listening to complaints. "So what say we find our dearest little old man and see if he knows?" 

Luther frowned. "I don't see him." 

"Great observational skills," Ben said. "Look, let's just use somebody's phone and call the Academy. If anyone got back before us, that’s where they’ll be. I'll ask!" he volunteered, apparently excited to put his new can-be-seen-by-other-people skill to the test. He started down the street, and Klaus followed him because what else would he do? Luther looked kind of frozen in place, so Klaus grabbed his arm and dragged him along. 

* * *

Allison landed and immediately knew that something was wrong. She didn't realize _how_ wrong until she looked at Vanya and saw her teenaged sister looking at her, eyes wide. She had the long straight hair, the bangs, and the Umbrella Academy uniform. "You're..." 

"And you're..." Vanya returned. 

Allison looked down and saw that she was wearing the uniform again too. Some of her hair fell forward, into her face. It wasn't in her sixties do, short and relaxed anymore. It was natural, dark, and long enough that it nearly went down to her waist. It was a stupid thing to think about when they were in the middle of a crisis, but she was glad to have her hair back to normal. "It must have worked. Five brought us back. The question is when?" 

"And where?" Vanya asked, looking out onto the street. “This doesn’t look like any place I’ve been before.” 

"Let's find a newsstand." Allison reached down and grabbed Vanya's hand. After all they'd been through, she wasn't going to lose her now. They'd survived (nearly) two apocalypses, memory loss, severe injury, and extreme separation. She wasn't risking it. 

Allison started walking, aiming towards where there was a large cluster of people. They were all walking, but the more foot traffic there was, the better chance that they'd be able to find a newspaper. 

Vanya took a few quick steps so that they were walking side by side, and she tightened her hold on Allison's hand. 

"Are you okay? I know that it wasn't easy for you to leave them." 

Vanya shook her head. "They'll be fine without me. I love Sissy, but she wasn't ready to have a me with memories in her life. Her and Harlan will be alright." 

Allison squeezed her hand and gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She was kind of panicking though, so she wasn't sure how good of a job she did. 

"Do you miss your husband?" Vanya asked. 

"Yes," she said, the word slipping out almost involuntarily. She swallowed and tried to smile again. "I wish you could've had the chance to know him, but he'll be fine. Better than us, probably." 

"Ha, yeah, that's uh- fair. Where's everyone else? Do you think we got separated through time again?" 

"I don't know. I hope not." 

"Maybe you'll get to see Claire again," Vanya said. It was obvious that she was trying to cheer her up, and while Allison appreciated the effort, it didn't do any good. 

"Not if we're kids," she said sadly. "But thank you. Five will have more answers, hopefully. If we can find out the date and where we are, it should be easier." 

Vanya nodded, and then they were struggling to stay together as they made their way through the throng of people. It was loud with so many people-- not just talking, but breathing and moving-- and Vanya caught sight of a newsstand out of the corner of her eye. "Allison." She didn't hear her. "Allison!" she yelled, tugging on her hand for good measure. 

Allison paused and looked over at her, and Vanya pointed at the newsstand. She smiled, and then they changed direction. Allison saw the news before she did, but Vanya knew that it couldn't be good given the way her sister froze. 

Vanya scooted closer and peered at the newspaper, ignoring the gossip rags that were in her face. April 13, 2013. That part wasn't too bad, but the headline and picture was. _Superhero Team 'Avengers' Save NYC Again!_ "Superhero team?" Vanya repeated. That sounded a lot like the Umbrella Academy, but the people in the picture didn't look anything like they had. For one, there wasn't a set uniform they were all wearing. They didn't even have a symbol in common on all of their outfits to show that they were working together-- even Vanya's uniform had the umbrella patch over the breast pocket. For another, they were all adults. The details weren't too good since the photo was an action shot and had been taken from a distance, not to mention that they were spread out, not posed together for a picture. 

"That's..." Allison trailed off. There weren't really words for what she was thinking. There were people out there who were heroes? Like the Umbrella Academy only adults (that actually functioned as a team)? It was hard to imagine, but the proof was right there in front of her face. "We should call the Academy. If Grace isn't there, maybe the others are and we can get this whole mess straightened out." There were worse things than being a teenager again-- like getting trapped in the apocalypse like Five had been-- but that didn't mean she wanted to relive it. Going back to the Academy when Reginald was alive wasn't something she was looking forward to, but it was the only place all of them would know and could use as a rendezvous point. She had no doubt that if their brothers were here right now in the same situation, they'd try to find the Academy. 

"You mean get Five to explain what happened," Vanya corrected. 

"Basically," she muttered, then she turned to the man running the stand with a bright smile. "Hi! Do you know where the closest phone is that we could use?" 

His face scrunched up in confusion. "You mean like a pay phone?" 

"Yeah, or if there's, like, a business nearby." She couldn't really tell which of these business buildings were open to the public and which ones weren't. Even if they were open to the public, they wouldn't exactly volunteer it to her. She was trying to learn moderation with her power, but this was an emergency and she'd Rumor them if she had to. 

"Your cell die or something?" 

She had no idea what that meant. She let her smile turn sheepish and hoped it was the appropriate reaction. "Yeah." 

"Closest payphone's two blocks south, but you might have better luck walking into Stark Tower and asking to borrow a charger," he said with a snort. 

It was clearly a joke, but the building he'd gestured towards was only a few buildings down. They'd probably have a reception desk though, and she could use their phone there. Even if they didn't have a reception desk, it was a better try than hunting down a payphone they didn't have change for. "Thanks," she said, then walked a few steps away so her and Vanya would have a little privacy. "I think we should try that- Stark Tower for a phone." 

"He did make it sound like there was one there," Vanya agreed. 

"Okay." Allison glanced at the building, then back at her sister. "I'll probably Rumor them so that we can use the phone. You shouldn't have to do anything." 

"I'm not going to blow up again. My control's gotten pretty good." After dealing with the initial trauma, it was like she'd known exactly what she was doing. She knew how to do big bursts versus little bursts, and she'd even managed to do it in one direction instead of in a circle radiating out from her. 

"Still, I'd like it if you left it to me. There's no need for anyone to get hurt before we know what kind of world we're in." 

"Okay, but you can think of me like your ace in the hole," Vanya said with a grin, putting her arm around Allison's shoulders. 

Glad that she was able to be confident, Allison smiled back at her. 

"Besides," Vanya said as they started to walk, "I'm pretty sure I can start to glow before doing anything if we need to try and scare anyone off." 

"It shouldn't be necessary, but thanks." 

They walked over to the building and stepped right inside. The lobby was busy enough that they didn't draw stares just by walking in. 

"Stay close to me," Allison muttered, letting go of Vanya's hand and walking up to the reception desk. 

"Hello," the receptionist said with a polite smile. "How can I help you today?" 

"Hi, I was wondering if I could borrow your phone? We got separated from our brothers, and I don't have any change for a payphone." 

The receptionist looked sympathetic, but not like she was about to let her use the phone. That was fair; Allison looked like a teenager, and that phone had more buttons than she'd ever seen on one appliance. "I'm sorry, but I can't let anyone use the phone if they're not a Stark Industries employee. It's a security issue." 

"I get that, but this is an emergency. Please?" Allison asked desperately. If they couldn't get ahold of anyone, then they'd have no idea what to do next. She didn't want to wander the streets aimlessly like she'd done in the sixties, even if she felt safer now that she could talk and wasn't alone. "I'll be really fast, I promise." 

"I'm sorry, ma'am," she said, and she really looked it, "but I can't-" 

" **I heard a rumor...** " Allison interrupted. The receptionist's eyes started to glaze over, waiting for the command. "...that you let me use the phone." 

Wordlessly, the receptionist pushed the phone in her direction and turned to work on her- what was that? It didn’t look like anything else that Allison had ever seen, but she didn't have time to worry about it. There was no telling when someone would see them and think it was suspicious. 

Allison quickly walked around the desk and picked up the receiver. It had been a while since she'd needed to call the Academy, but she remembered the number. As she punched in the number, she saw Vanya join her on the other side of the desk and look around. It rang, then clicked. She opened her mouth to start talking, then closed it again with a frown as the automated voice told her the number was disconnected. 

She must have entered it wrong. It had been a while, after all. She hung up and tried again, hitting each of the numbers slowly and deliberately. 

She got the same message again. "It says the number's disconnected. Do you know Diego's number?" she asked, glancing at Vanya. 

Vanya shook her head. "I don't even know where he was living. He sort of hated me for the autobiography, if you'll recall." 

"I think what he hated was that you dragged him into it; he doesn't hate you." 

"Not anymore," Vanya admitted, "but he used to. Don't you remember Dad's funeral?" 

"He was angry at everyone that day. For fuck's sake, he attacked Luther." Then Allison sighed, looking at the phone again. "I guess we could try Information, but if the Academy's doesn't exist, there's no reason for his gym to." 

Allison was about to suggest that they leave and try to find a library to get an idea of the world they suddenly found themselves in, but there was the sound of several pairs of feet pounding, followed by someone firmly saying, "Prue, get away from them." The receptionist scrambled away at the order, and it occurred to Allison too late that they should've walked away to have their little chat. They'd thought that they would still need the phone so that's why they hadn't moved, but any information that could be used against them wasn't good. She didn't want to say as much to Vanya, but when it had been published, she'd been angry with her for the autobiography for that very reason. 

Vanya's gaze shot over to who was talking, but Allison let her eyes fall closed with a resigned sigh before looking. Why couldn't things ever go smoothly? Ever since Father died, it was one thing after another. 

Allison was done pitying herself (for the moment) and looked over at the problem. Make that a _big_ problem. 

They reminded her of the guys that had attacked them at the theatre while they were trying to stop Vanya from going off. All black armor, big guns, and the bulky helmet to match. 

Except for one man. He was in jeans and a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, but his shoulders were big enough that Allison figured he could snap her in half if he wanted to. Despite being front and center with no visible weapon, he looked confident. A little wary, but that was just good sense. 

Allison narrowed her eyes at him. He might be like Lila, like them. Before Lila, she'd never met anyone with powers, and she'd gotten her ass thoroughly handed to her. She didn't want for that to happen again. If the two weeks of intense family time had taught her anything, it's that they only had each other. She didn't have Claire, and she didn't have Ray anymore either. She wasn't about to lose Vanya or make Vanya lose her. 

"Sorry about the show of force," he said with a half of a smile, "but we like to take precautions. I don't know where you're from, but around here, it's considered quite rude to use mind control on someone." 

He was relaxed. He knew that she could use mind control somehow, and he was still pretty relaxed about it. He must have a power. Either that, or he was certain in his ability to act before she finished speaking. 

Allison swallowed thickly. Based on what little Five had mentioned, this didn't seem like the Commission, but she wasn't going to rule anything out. "We just wanted to use the phone to find our brothers." 

"Are they missing?" 

"I think we're _all_ missing," Vanya said. Her arm was back on Allison's arm-- when had that happened?-- and she gripped it tightly in worry. 

The man was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I appreciate your desperation and that you didn't harm anyone, but that sort of behavior isn't acceptable. Who are your parents? Where were you staying? We can contact them for you." 

Allison and Vanya shared a look. They didn't actually want to see Reginald again, and where would Grace be without him? She didn't even have a last name, so they couldn't tell him that and hope that she was here. Besides, Allison was becoming increasingly convinced that if there was a Grace in this world, she wouldn't recognize any of them. No Academy meant no Umbrella team as a criminal deterrent. They might be in the uniforms right now, but that didn't mean they existed, especially not if there was a team like the Avengers around. 

Wait, the Avengers. Maybe that's why he was so calm. "Are you an Avenger?" Allison asked. 

The man frowned slightly at that. "You don't recognize me?" 

Shit. "Uh." 

"Yes, I'm an Avenger. Where are you from?" 

Shit again. Not only was he an Avenger with unknown power, but he was getting suspicious. Suspicious equaled bad news for her and Vanya. 

"An Academy," Vanya answered, since it was clear not answering wasn't going so great for them. 

If anything, that made him more suspicious. "What kind of academy?" Then his eyes darted behind them. "Wait, don't-" 

Vanya heard the click of metal and assumed it was a gun. She reacted. It was a quick, short burst. More than she'd used on the car door to deal with the cop that stopped her and Sissy, and it was enough to send everyone around them flying back into the walls. Or, in one man's case, through the glass at the front of the building. She winced, because that wasn't what she had meant to do. Then she glanced behind her and made a face. It had been cuffs that the person behind them had been holding, not a gun. 

When she looked at Allison, her eyes were wide. "I thought you said you could control it!" 

"That _was_ controlled." 

"But-" 

"I thought we were about to get shot!" The blond man that had been talking to them groaned and started pushing himself up. "Besides, they're fine, see?" Vanya said, gesturing towards him. 

Allison looked in that direction, then her eyes got wider. "We have to get out of here. Run," she said, giving Vanya a small shove towards the door. 

Hearing them, he stopped trying to get up. "Wait! You said it was a mistake, right? No harm done." He held his hands up by his head as if to say that he wasn't a threat. "You didn't want to hurt anyone; I understand that. You're scared and trying to find your family. We can help you. If you have powers, you shouldn't be running around the streets of New York. There are people that would try to force you to help them." 

Allison hesitated. "Why should we trust you?" 

"They don't call us heroes for nothing. If you don't hurt anyone on purpose, then we have no reason to betray that trust. We can be on the same side. We probably are already." 

She wanted to talk to Vanya about it in private before agreeing to anything, but she didn't know how they'd gotten found out to begin with. What kind of surveillance did these people have? Would she be _able_ to have a conversation in private, even if they asked for it? 

She was saved having to come up with an immediate answer, because someone ran in from the front. 

All three of them jerked to see who it was, then Allison grinned. "Luther! We were- Ben?" she asked, astonished. 

Ben was smiling from ear to ear. He nodded excitedly. "I'm back!" 

"I thought you moved on," Vanya said, more than a little effected to see him alive and well after holding him as he went. 

"Apparently it wasn't permanent," Ben said. 

"Is no one going to be happy to see me?" Klaus wondered aloud. 

Ben pat him on the shoulder without looking at him. 

Luther looked around at the scene. "So uh. What happened?" 

Allison glanced at the Avenger, whose name she just realized she didn't know. "A minor misunderstanding." 

* * *

They'd worked things out with Steve-- that was the Avenger that had found Allison and Vanya; apparently it was their building and they had some sort of high-tech scanner that could tell when powers were being used, talk about big mistakes-- and were now sitting around a table in the kitchen. Because apparently, office buildings could double as apartments in this universe. Steve was off calling up the other Avengers to let them know that they were there, and he said that they'd all get together and try to help them tonight, when they would all be back at the Tower.

As for the Umbrella Academy...

"Where the hell are Five and Diego?" Ben asked.

"They had to have made it," Vanya said. "Right? I mean, none of us would be here without Five, and it doesn't make sense that everyone but Diego got transported here."

"I'm sure they're fine," Klaus said. "I mean, if they were dead, don't you think they'd be here bothering me?"

"That's fair," Luther said, rubbing at his face and looking tired. "So we agree that they're alive, and in this world, right?"

Everyone nodded.

Allison chewed on her lip for a moment. "The only problem is that we don't know for sure they're in the same time. We all landed in the sixties because of Five, but he was the last one to show up. What if we look for them, but they won't be here for another two years?"

"We're not going to let that stop us from looking for them now. Let's face it: without Five, we might cause another apocalypse, and I want to know why we're all teenagers again."

"Maybe it's because I'm alive," Ben said. When everyone looked at him, he shrugged. "This is the age I was when I died. Five was probably aiming for a time when all of us were alive and this is how it worked out." At least, that was his leading theory. None of them had a good grasp on how Five's powers worked, in large part because he'd gone missing when they were kids.

"We'll have plenty of time to press him for answers when we find him."

"So we're pretending that we're all optimists, now?" Klaus asked. Luther glared at him. "Just checking. Carry on, fearless leader." He gave him a little salute. 

"I thought we nixed the numbers thing," Vanya said.

"Well, Diego thought we should nix it," Allison corrected. "I don't think the rest of us really agreed to it, but he had a point. It was Reginald's way of pitting us against each other. Besides, the only one that actually kept the number as a name was Five. There's no reason for the rest of us to keep thinking that way."

"And if our lives have shown us anything, it's that we should stick together," Vanya said.

"We should," Luther agreed. "And that starts with finding Diego and Five." Then he sighed again. "Anyone have an idea for where to start?"

"Not to tank your mood, but maybe we should wait until this evening to talk about possibilities," Klaus said. "We don't know anything about this place, but the Avengers do. They had that sensor thingy in the lobby to know when Allison Rumored someone; they might have the same thing to search the city, and then we wouldn't have to do anything." Because they all knew that if Five was here, he was definitely using his powers.

Allison made a face. "They didn't really explain how it worked. What if it was just for mind control type powers and not what either of them can do?"

"Then we'd be back to square one, but there's no harm in asking," Ben said. "We can keep brainstorming, just in case. It's not like we have anything else to do right now." And if nothing else, that part was true. They didn't know how to use any of the technology around them, let alone if they were allowed to. They had no books, no radio, and even though Steve hadn't said as much, they knew that they shouldn't leave the tower. 

They'd only spent this much time together during apocalypses and their childhood. Obviously, neither situation was filled with happy memories, but they always had each other.

Always.


	2. Finding Answers

"I can't believe you've been in this place for _an hour_ and you've already been arrested," Five said, glaring at him from the other side of the bars. 

Diego was in lock-up, Five wasn't. "Yeah, we should really stop going to new places. Last time I lasted an entire day. My ability to keep my hands to myself goes down with each jump." He was pretty sure that Five wouldn’t leave him here, since this time, Diego wasn’t working towards a goal that Five disagreed with. 

"You got arrested after a _day_?" Five repeated incredulously. He stared at him like he couldn't believe what he was hearing but also, it sounded like Diego to do something like that. "I knew you were ridiculous, but I didn't realize you were _this_ fucking dumb." 

Diego shrugged. "You're the smart one." 

"You're smart too, when you're not trying to be an idiot." 

"Did you just say I'm smart?" Diego asked, raising an eyebrow as his voice tinted with disbelief. 

Five intensified his glare. "You're the dumbest person I know." 

"Yeah, but you only know, like, ten people. It's too late for you to take it back; I already heard it. It's with me forever." 

"I'm about to leave you here." 

"Aww, don't be like that. You know you felt bad for leaving me in the asylum last time." 

"Did I?" 

"I'm sure you regretted leaving me there when it ended with me taking Lila along for the ride, which amounts to the same thing." Also he was pretty sure that Five had felt bad about it, because as much as Five tried to pretend he didn't have emotions, he totally did. There was only so many times Five could try to save all their lives before it became obvious he cared about them. "Besides, what are you going to do if you did leave me here?" 

"Get a coffee and have some fucking peace and quiet," Five answered readily, but he was still standing there. 

* * *

Steve came back into the room a few hours before night had come-- and with it, their scheduled time to confab-- holding a thin piece of... well, of something. None of them knew what it was. It looked like a large, thin, black coaster, to be honest. "Someone just got arrested at the Manhattan precinct," he said, turning the object in his hands to show them glowing pictures-- mugshots of Diego, looking like a teenager again, just like the rest of them. "It raised several red flags in the system, and I figured between that and his uniform, he might be one of your brothers that's missing?" 

"Diego," Allison answered, nodding. "What the hell did he get arrested for?" 

"Being a vigilante, basically. I don't think he'll get charged with anything. This kind of thing happens all the time now that we have the Avengers; people want to be heroes too and end up getting hurt unless they're stopped. They normally get put in lock-up overnight and then released in the morning to try and deter them from doing it again," Steve explained. "But since he's your brother, I can give the station a call and get him released." 

"You can do that?" Klaus asked. "Just like that. Just by asking?" 

"Strictly speaking, it's not legal, but since he hasn't been charged with anything, it's not illegal either." He turned back to Allison. "I'm guessing he has powers, too? Nothing too dangerous, right?" 

"Dangerous when he's in a fight," Allison corrected, because they were trying not to lie to their only resource right now, no matter how small the lie might be, "but he's not going to attack other people just because he can." 

* * *

"Good news, kid, you're out," a cop said, coming into the room, keys in hand. 

Diego wished people would stop calling him ‘kid’. He could see why it had bothered Five so much to be thirteen again. 

Five stepped away, folding his arms over his chest. 

"I am?" Diego asked. "How'd that happen?" 

The cop snorted. "When you get a call from the Avengers saying to let someone go, you don't argue." 

Diego glanced at Five to see if he knew who the Avengers were. 

Five gave a small shake of his head. 

"Besides, you weren't charged with anything." He unlocked the door, and Diego stepped out. The door was locked again, and they were escorted out. Maybe this was Allison's doing. Pinning it on someone else would definitely be a smart move if someone ever wanted to dispute the decision, but Diego had the uncomfortable feeling that they'd be finding out who the Avengers were very soon. 

They entered the main room, and instead of Allison, it was Luther, standing next to a man that looked like he could be Luther from another universe. If the Avengers were the Umbrella Academy in another world, Diego was going to die laughing. Luther was in the same position as Diego was-- de-aged and back in the school uniform; he was probably pretty happy about not being part ape anymore. 

As soon as Luther saw them, his body sagged in relief. 

"Hey man," Diego said, giving him a hug. "Where's everyone else?" 

"At the Tower, because we're staying in an office building tower that doubles for a home for a superhero team." 

Diego blinked at him. That would make the Avengers the superhero team, which also explained who this guy was. "Alright, cool." Then he glanced behind him to make sure that Five was still there, because he wouldn't put it past him to warp out while he wasn't looking. Five was still there, arms crossed over his chest (again) and looking suspicious. Eh, he always looked suspicious; Diego wasn't going to worry about it. 

Five grabbed his arm when they were outside and walking toward the Tower Luther had mentioned. "You're really going to trust these people?" Five hissed. 

"Do you have a better idea?" Diego asked quietly. "Everyone else is there, so it's not like we have a choice. We're stronger together." He pat Five's arm. "Try to lighten up a bit. Not everyone's out to kill us." 

"The last person you picked for that role, you were wrong about," Five said through gritted teeth. 

"It wasn't so much her as her adoptive mother, and if I remember right, _you're_ the one that knew that asshole first." 

"Yes, but I knew that I couldn't trust her for shit. You went all in like you always do." 

"How would you know what I always do? We've spent, like, two weeks together after a decade apart." 

"You're utterly predictable," Five said with a cold smile. "And you were like this when we were kids. It's pretty obvious that nothing's changed." 

"Guys," Luther groaned, a few steps ahead of them. "Can you please not argue? We're still in the figure-out-what's-going-on phase. When it gets time to plan, then you can argue." 

Five warped away without a word, and Diego sighed. "Nice going, now we'll never find him." He'd come back though. He always did. 

The man that looked like an alternate Luther half-turned back to look at him. "He left?" 

"Yeah. Don't worry, he'll be back." 

"You know that for sure?" Luther asked. 

"He didn't save our butts this many times just to abandon us now. Really man, you should know better than to try and tell Five what to do." 

"I didn't think 'stop arguing' was such a tall order." 

"You've had a conversation with him before, right?" 

Luther glanced back at him, confused. "Of course I have." 

"Then you should know better." Diego looked to the other guy, figuring he should get a name if they were going to be spending a lot of time together. "What's your name, anyways?" 

"Steve," he said, pairing it with a friendly smile. 

"Diego. Nice to meet you. The grumpy gremlin was Five." Then, to Luther, "I only get to insult him when he's not around, now. I get the feeling he'd gut me if I said something like that to his face." 

"Why would he gut you? We all insult each other all the time." 

"I think he's holding a grudge because of Lila." That’s what all their time in this place had shown him, anyways. 

"Oh," Luther said, looking uncomfortable. He turned back to fully face the font, and Diego rolled his eyes. Apparently, Five wasn't the only one holding a grudge from the business with Lila. Which, y’know, he sort of got. It hadn’t even been a day since they’d been dealing with her. Diego wasn't the only one to make nice with someone who had ulterior motives though, so he didn't get what the big deal was. He wasn't even the only one to have had sex with that person, so he _really_ didn't get it. 

They got close to the Tower-- which he knew because Luther pointed it out when they got on the same street as it-- and Five warped back into place next to him like he'd never left. The cup of coffee in his hands meant that he had been out of sight for at least a couple minutes, but Diego was willing to bet that he'd spent the rest of the time following them. 

When they came to the foot of the Tower, Five made a face but kept moving, but Diego stopped, staring up at all the glass with his mouth ajar. "What the hell." How did this thing not fall over? Or, more importantly, how did it not shatter? He knew that there was reinforced glass, but these guys were heroes, weren't they? No one had attacked the Umbrella Academy in their home, but he was willing to bet that things were different here. 

Five reached out and grabbed his arm, dragging him forward. Diego didn't resist, but he did keep looking up. 

"This place is so weird," he breathed. The Commission building had been weird too, but it had been familiar. It was a building from the past with more power than it should've had. This was like something out of a sci-fi book. In fact, Diego felt like he had seen this exact building drawn out on a cover, decorated with flying cars and a green alien with antenna. 

"You operated the Infinite Switchboard and this is what gets you gawking?" Five asked dismissively. 

Frankly, Diego was surprised that Five actually believed that he'd been able to use the Infinite Switchboard by himself. "Have _you_ ever been in a building like this?" 

"No, now shut up." 

Diego rolled his eyes. "You were much more pleasant when you were missing." 

Five snorted. 

"Diego," Luther chided.

"What? He doesn't care; he thought it was funny. Besides, if we try to tiptoe around each other, we'll never be able to say anything. And don't you think that if it bothered him, he would've hit me by now?" 

"That sounds like something I'd do," Five agreed, tossing his empty coffee cup in a trashcan that he saw. 

"See? We're cool. Don't interfere with a process that works." 

Steve brought them to an elevator, and Diego had the urge to push all the buttons just to see if he'd react. 

He didn't do anything; he wasn't actually a kid. 

It was a quiet ride up to the top of the building with all of them standing there awkwardly. Rather, Diego was cool with it, Five still seemed suspicious, and Luther and Steve were awkward. That was par for the course for Luther though, so Diego didn't worry about it. 

The doors opened, and Steve motioned for them to get out but stayed in. "I'll let you guys catch up. I've still got some work to do before we can all talk." 

Luther nodded and thanked him, then he started leading them further into the building. "Everyone's in the kitchen. We figured only one of us needed to leave to come get you. The um, Avengers are a superhero team. We're supposed to meet with them tonight and talk, so we've been trying to decide what to do. And what we should tell them. Steve made it sound like they want to help us, but he wasn't big on the specifics. He has to talk to his team too." 

"What've you told him?" Five asked. 

"That we're siblings. I think he knows that we're not from here, and he found Allison and Vanya because they used their powers. I'm not sure if he knows the specifics about the rest of us, but he does know that we have powers." 

Five made a small noise, and his jaw flexed in irritation. For some reason, it made Diego wonder if his jaw looked similar when he was kissing someone. 

He looked around as they walked. If nothing else, it was good to know where they were being kept in case things went sideways. 

It had looked like a business from the ground floor, but this was undoubtedly a place where people lived. Rich people, who could afford an entire floor as an apartment in New York City, but it was a home all the same. It was a little sterile, to Diego. No art, nothing else hanging on the walls, and the furniture they passed in the living room looked like it had just been bought. It reminded him of the creepy put-together rooms at Reginald's business in the sixties. 

He saw the rest of their siblings sitting around a large kitchen table. They were all back to their teenaged selves, no surprise there-- but he did a double take. "Ben?" 

Ben grinned and got to his feet, holding his arms out to the side as if to show how intact he was. "Yep. Alive again, can you believe it? Oh hey, Five, do you know how-" he stopped when Diego barreled into him. There was a pause, a small laugh, then Ben hugged him back. 

Diego squeezed him tightly. If he wasn't still running on the high of being alive, Ben would've complained that it hurt, but the fact that anything _could_ hurt gave him a thrill. Diego pulled back for a moment, framing Ben's face with his hands in awe. "Look at you," he breathed. Then he hugged him again. He'd missed Ben more than he could put words to. They hadn't been a very good team even before he died, but afterwards, they'd completely fallen apart. There had never been a time when they weren't fighting with each other after that. He'd never cared to make an official theory about it, but he was pretty sure that losing Ben had been the reason they crumpled. It could've just been the last straw. It could've been the only reason they splintered; it was possible that, with Ben alive, they all would've stayed-- or at least stayed longer. 

"Five, do you know what happened?" Allison asked. "I know that when we left after the moon, you were trying to take us back to our Academy days, but Ben's here and we're all- well, teenagers, not kids." 

Five's eyes were stuck on Ben. He looked just as surprised to see him as everyone else did. "I thought that Ben moved on when he helped Vanya control her powers." 

"He did," Vanya said. "I saw him disappear." 

"Maybe he like... attached himself to you?" Klaus said. He glanced at Ben, but him and Diego were still lost in each other's eyes. "When he was dead, he spent all his time with me. When he helped you, maybe his focus switched or something." 

"It's as good a theory as anything," Five said, which made Klaus point a finger to himself in questioning, then beam. "I didn't account for a seventh presence; it's no wonder we ended up in a completely alternate universe." 

"So this is?" Luther asked. "An alternate universe, I mean." 

"What else would it be?" Klaus asked. 

"It could've been the lasting effects of our presence in the sixties," Vanya said. 

"Could have been, but it isn't," Five said decisively. He grabbed an empty chair and sat down, crossing his arms and resting them on the table as he thought. "What do we know about these people? That man Steve?" 

"He's part of a superhero team called the Avengers," Allison said. "Vanya and I found a newspaper reporting on their latest fight. I think all of them have powers, and I don't think they're anything like us." 

Diego kept one arm around Ben's shoulders but tuned back in to the conversation. "Not like us how?" 

"For one, I think a lot more people in this world have powers than in ours. I mean, it was the seven of us plus Lila? Maybe a couple others, but nothing like this. This world has enough powers that they have different terms for it and are _prepared_ for when they find someone with them. They found me and Vanya because I Rumored someone, and they were able to sense it, somehow. Steve wasn't very surprised to find someone who had that power, and he looked prepared to handle it. Vanya had a little shockwave afterwards, which got more of a reaction, but he was still capable of dealing with it. It's like he was surprised in the moment, but not shocked to see powers like hers." 

"He seemed really worried about us leaving," Vanya added. "We were about to run away, and he begged us to stay." 

"And you agreed?" Five asked, disbelieving. 

"We didn't know what else to do," Allison said. "We were just trying to find you guys, and we told him that. He offered to help, and then Luther, Ben, and Klaus showed up. With most of us in one place, it made sense to take him up on it. So far, trusting him has paid off. He helped us find you." 

"And bailed you out," Luther added. 

Diego flipped him off absently. "Now that we're all together, what's the plan for how to get back home?" 

"We don't have a plan," Luther said. 

"Not yet, at least," Allison said. "Because the only one that really knows about this stuff is Five." 

They all looked at the brother in question, who looked like he wanted to melt away into nothingness. "There's no fixing this." 

"What?" 

Five's jaw clenched. "We're in a completely alternate universe. That we all got out of there alive was statistically impossible. That we all landed together is nothing short of a miracle. Getting back to our world isn't just unlikely, it is literally impossible. And not like getting us here, where there was a fraction of a percent of it working but was improbable. Getting home or anywhere like it is completely, one hundred percent, impossible." 

"So we're stuck here forever?" Klaus asked. 

"No, not forever," Ben said. "Just until you die. After that, it's not like it matters. And, if I might add, I'm not sticking around the next time I die. You'll just have to live without me." 

"I can do that." 

"You would've died without me giving you attention." 

"So I'm fabulous and need attention to thrive! I see no problem with that." 

"Maybe this is a second chance for us," Luther said. "Dad's not here, and we're teenagers again. We can have real lives." 

"Real lives include splitting up. We're not doing that," Five said, his tone leaving no room for argument. 

"I agree with you in spirit," Vanya said, "but where are we going to live? The Avengers aren't going to let us stay here forever. Steve said that we'd all get together tonight and talk, but it would be nice if we agreed on what we were going to do." 

"There are other people like us, right?" Ben said. "They probably have some system in place. We could go along with that." 

"They probably do," Allison said. "When we said that we came from an academy, Steve asked us what kind. They probably have those for people with powers here. As long as we're together, I don't see why it would be a problem." 

"Aside from the fact that we're not actually teenagers?" Ben asked. 

"We'd be able to deal with that," Luther said. "Is that what our answer is? That we're up for anything that isn't torture as long as we're together?" 

"Sounds good to me," Allison said. "We've been through enough that I think we could handle it." 

"You guys might be willing to get shipped off, but I'm not," Diego said. "We don't know anything about this place, and I'm not going to agree to go somewhere until we know more about it." 

"So where would that leave us? We demand to stay here with them?" Vanya asked. 

"I don't think that would go over very well," Klaus said. "Take it from someone that's been kicked out for squatting before." 

"We wouldn't be squatting; we'd be living here with their permission," Luther said. 

"Permission that we're not sure we could get," Ben chimed in. "It's fine to tell them what we want, but there's no guarantee they'll agree." 

"Five?" Vanya said, looking at him. "You've been kind of quiet. What do you think?" 

"It doesn't matter." 

Allison frowned, and she wasn't the only one. "I know that we've ignored your opinion before during the apocalypse, but we're trying to be better than that, now. What do you want to do? If you could pick for all of us, what would it be?" 

"You misunderstand. I didn't mean that my opinion is meaningless. I mean that it doesn't matter what we decide because they keep tabs on people with powers, and we'll have limited options. The only thing we can properly bargain for is staying together. We don’t know enough to decide anything else." 

* * *

After Five’s declaration, they managed to burn time by talking. Normally, it wasn't a safe option, but with Ben there, it was him commenting on all of the things he'd seen as a ghost, and then them taking turns-- haphazard and overlapping, but turns all the same-- filling him in on their lives. Both in their original time and what they'd gotten up to in the sixties. Diego didn't have much to say on that topic, but he got to learn more about Allison's husband and that woman Vanya had fallen in love with. They reamed Luther for working for a mob boss and mocked Diego for getting himself arrested so quickly. 

Klaus had been saved for last, either because he'd been there the longest or because they all knew that he'd started a fucking cult and wanted as much time as they could to hear about his reasoning for _that_. It wasn't very surprising that Klaus hadn't really thought. He'd gotten attention-- a shit ton of it-- and it had almost been like a game for him and Ben. In the beginning, they did little tricks for the richest people around, and they gave him whatever he wanted. Shortly after, they started to travel, and Klaus wasn't going to turn that down. He'd always been the main one of them that wanted to travel the world, but it had never been feasible for him. 

They were still in the middle of hearing about the tattoo he'd gotten in India-- fucking India, of all places, he really had gone there, what the hell-- when a group of adults entered the room. Presumably, they were the Avengers. That Steve guy was with them, at least. 

"Is this a bad time?" a man interrupted. Interrupted, because even though they'd seen the Avengers walk in, they'd been busy staring at Klaus in various levels of disbelief. Except for Ben, of course. Ben looked vindicated that other people were having to hear about Klaus's weird ass decisions. 

"It's a _weird_ time," Diego answered, glancing at him. Not quite middle-aged, dark hair, and a goatee. He was standing next to Steve, but was shorter by a few inches. The man that had spoken didn't concern him very much. The people behind him, though? Let's just say that it had Diego regretting making his case that they'd probably be best off if they stayed here. He was very aware of the knives that he still had tucked in place-- exactly where they'd been kept during his Umbrella Academy days. If nothing else, he'd be able to match the guy with long dark hair and scruff that also had knives on his person. As a teenager, he wouldn't be able to match him in straight hand to hand, but he figured that he could still win with knives. 

Diego wasn't the only one that went tense when he saw them. The Avengers seemed as calm as could be, but the tension in the room definitely went up. 

Surprisingly, Five was the one to break it. "Where the hell do you keep your coffee?" 

"Ah, a fellow soul," the same man as before said. "See, I knew we'd get along." He ambled in and hopped up on the counter, pointing at the cupboard above the fridge. "Grounds are up there, along with filters." 

Five went over and got up on his tiptoes, but even straining, he could barely get the cupboard open. He turned to grab a chair to stand on, but Luther got to his feet and got it for him. He handed down the bag of grounds that was in the front along with the packet of filters. "Hmph," Five said, in lieu of a thank you. Then he glared up at his brother. "I'm not drinking a fucking French roast." 

Luther took it back, rolling his eyes. "Fine, then what do you want?" 

"Hm, I don't know, maybe something that doesn't taste like shit?" 

"I don't drink coffee. What does that mean?" 

Five made a noise of irritation. "Columbian?" 

"Are you sure you should be drinking coffee this late?" Vanya asked. 

"She's right, you won't be able to sleep," Allison said. 

Five turned to glare at them instead of Luther. 

"It has been a hectic week for you," Ben added. 

Five ignored Ben to keep glaring at Allison. 

It used to be, that whenever Five looked murderous, there was something funny about it. He had been a kid. He'd been short and chubby-cheeked, and his glare had made him look like a wet kitten. Now that his body had grown a little, it wasn't as funny. Diego didn't look at his glare and think it was funny; he looked at his glare and thought it was kinda hot. He really shouldn't think that way. Luther and Allison had their thing, but there was no telling if Allison felt that way anymore, not since getting married-- what had been his name, Ray?-- and while her first marriage hadn't exactly been kosher, the second one had been. Point is, they only had room for one weird ass relationship in this family, and it was going to remain Allison and Luther's. Besides, this was probably just teenage hormones raising their ugly head. 

Finding his glare hot... jesus christ, maybe Diego was overdue for some sleep, too. 

"I guess it's time for some introductions," Steve said. "I think I already told all of you that I'm Steve, and this is Sam, Clint, Tony, Natasha, and Bucky," he said, pointing at each person as he said their name. "The only other person on the team is Jan, but she's in Paris at a fashion show right now. She should be back in a week, and you can meet her then, if you're still here." He paused, waiting for one of them to say something. 

Diego kept his mouth shut. Luther usually was in charge, so he was the one who did the talking. When it wasn't Luther, it was Five, but Five was making coffee and didn't look like he was in a hurry to put that on hold so he could explain. Since Five didn't want to be here or talk to them, it made sense that he would stay stubbornly silent throughout the meeting, if he could manage it. His pesky need to be right would probably rear its head before the night was through. 

"I'm Vanya," she said, waving a hand. 

"Allison." 

"Ben." 

"Luther." 

"Klaus," he said with a wide grin. "Enchanté." 

"Diego." He paused, then nodded at the only sibling left. "And the gremlin with the coffee is Five." 

Five threw the pack of filters at him and it hit his back with a small thump. Diego tilted back and picked them up and tossed them on the table. 

Bucky walked over and sat on the counter. Not the same counter as Five, thankfully; they were on opposite sides of the room. 

"So Cap said that you kids have powers," Tony said. 

"We're not kids," Luther said. It looked like he was about to elaborate, but he stopped when Five shot a narrow-eyed look at him. 

"Right, teenagers, sorry," he corrected absently. "Charles's school is always open to newcomers." 

"Professor X?" Clint said, wrinkling his nose. "He's such a stick in the mud." 

"It's a school, but it’s not just education," Sam added. "It's about learning to control your powers and be surrounded by people that are like you. A lot of them don't have families anymore, so it's good for them to have a support system." 

"Wow, that's like the opposite of what dear old Dad did," Klaus said. His eyes darted close to Tony, then he steadfastly put them back to Sam and grinned. "Thanks but no thanks. One school for freaks with powers was good enough for us." 

"I'm not crazy about the idea either, but maybe it's something we should consider," Allison said. None of the rest of them wanted to put themselves in that position (except for maybe Luther), but then, Allison had been in favor of pretending they were the teenagers they looked like. 

Five would murder someone if they treated him like a kid, but he didn't want to tell the Avengers _anything_ about them. Some allowances were going to be made out of necessity, but if it would give them an edge in a fight, he wanted it kept quiet. Their ages, the specifics of their powers, and their training were all to be kept under wraps. 

"Before we get into all that," Natasha said, "I feel we deserve to know where you came from. If you're not from Professor X's school, what academy did you come from? I wasn't aware that there was another one like it." 

"You say that like you don't already know we aren't from here," Five said, not turning to face her. He poked at the coffee maker. "The fuck is wrong with this thing?" 

"Oh, yeah I made it for myself; it's not standard," Tony said. He walked over, keeping his steps heavy and gave Five plenty of space when he leaned in. Five stepped to the side anyways, and Tony got the coffee brewing. He walked away afterwards, letting Five go back to staring at the coffee maker as he tapped his fingers against the countertop. 

"So where are you from, then?" Natasha asked, as if there hadn't been an interruption. 

They exchanged some glances, but there was no denying that they were going to have to tell the Avengers. 

"An alternate universe," Ben answered. 

"We were in a fight, and something went wrong," Allison said. She'd always been good at distorting the truth; it was what made her a good actress. "It was the first time we'd fought somebody else with powers, and I guess it messed us up more than we realized." 

"So you need help getting home?" Steve asked. 

"One of you has the power to shift universes?" Diego couldn't stop himself from asking. 

"No, nothing like that," Tony said, "but there's a scientist who's spent her entire career focusing on the Einstein-Rosen bridge. We can give her a call and see if she's had any breakthroughs recently." 

"Thank you," Allison said, but her eyes darted to Five uncertainly. He'd said that with his powers, it was impossible, but she didn't know if that meant the entire world was unreachable. It probably was. With their changes to the timeline, there might not be a world to get back _to_. "But I guess we can't count on that coming through for us." She propped one arm up on the table and leaned her head into her open hand. 

"You could always stay here," Tony said. 

A few of the Avengers glanced at him. 

"What? They need a place to stay, and they're already here." 

"It's not really a long term solution though," Sam said. 

"We don't need to think of the long term until Jane says she can't help," Tony told him. "Them staying with us is a short term solution because short term is the only thing we can plan for right now. Besides, even if we do talk about long term solutions, they already said they don't want to go to the X-men's place. That means they can stay with us, or we try and find them a house somewhere. I don't know if you've ever seen a frat house before, but trust me, it isn't pretty." 

"What's a frat house?" Ben asked. 

"A fraternity," Tony said. 

All of them looked at him blankly. 

"Greek life?" he tried. "Like at college? The male version of a sorority?" 

"I don't think we had those in our universe. Is there a high concentration of Greek immigrants?" Ben asked. It seemed the most likely explanation. 

Tony blinked. "Um. No. You know what? We can talk about that later; the point is that we wouldn't be comfortable letting all of you live on your own." 

"We don't really need supervision," Klaus said. 

Ben gave him a look as if to say 'we don't need supervision but _you_ do'. 

"We wouldn't let _anyone_ from an alternate universe have free run of the world, even if they were adults," Steve said. "I agree that you all staying here is a good idea, at least for now." 

Five opened a cupboard, then closed it and moved to the next one. His third try found the mugs, and he pulled one down. 

"Hey, Five, can I try some?" Ben asked. 

Five grabbed another mug. 

"Ooo, me too?" Klaus asked. 

"Do it yourself." 

Klaus pouted, sticking out his bottom lip pathetically. 

Diego pat his shoulder. "Ben's the favorite, suck it up." 

"Why can't I be the favorite?" 

"Because you're fucking weird," Diego said. 

"Diego," Allison said, chastising. 

"Am I wrong?" 

"Oh! If I'm Allison's favorite, then that's fine." Klaus winked at her, grinning when she winked back. 

"I guess staying here would be okay, if you're willing to have us," Luther said. "Though I can't imagine you have room." 

"There's a lot of guest rooms. It won't be a problem if you stay," Clint said, speaking up for the first time. "We should get some pizza and figure out the details over dinner." 

Natasha turned to look at him. "You just want pizza." 

"Doesn't everybody?" 

"I could go for some pizza," Sam said. 

"Great," Tony said. "I'll place the order and be back in a minute." He left the room, pulling something thin and flat from his pocket as he went. 

Five put the mug of coffee in front of Ben, then went back to lean against the counter. 

Diego should really stop staring at him, but he found that he didn’t want to.


	3. Getting Settled

Diego had been laying in bed for about ten minutes when Five warped into the room. 

"Get up," Five whispered. 

He pushed himself up. "Why?" 

"You really trust these people?" Five asked. 

"We're not going to go snooping around their shit." 

Five glared at him. Diego couldn't really see it because the room was too dark, but he knew that it was happening. 

"They have technology that none of us know about. We have no idea if they can negate your powers." Diego let that information sit for a moment. This world might be able to neutralize their powers, and they had no way of no knowing if it was possible, much less how to identify it when/if it happened. They could be sitting there fine, and one day their powers just might not work anymore. "Besides, I know you're used to people being evil, but maybe consider that these guys aren't." 

"Your optimism is going to get you killed one day," Five said, and it wasn't some passing comment. He said it like it was a fact, and one he was upset about. 

"It won't be today." Diego laid back down but didn't pull the blanket over himself. "You think there's another apocalypse here." 

"That's how it goes, isn't it? For all of my temporal shifts, I've landed in close proximity to the apocalypse. When I left the Academy the first time, everything was still smoldering. I go back to when you're all still alive, and I only had a week. When I got to the sixties, nukes came in when I hadn't even been there for five minutes. There's no reason this would be different." 

"But it is different. You didn't see it already. We all got here together, and that's different too. Or how about the fact that if there is an apocalypse, there are people here who can take care of it? Take a break for once. Get some sleep. Get laid. Probably want to save that one for tomorrow," he added thoughtfully, then yawned. 

Five looked at him incredulously. "You think having sex will make me forget about the apocalypse?" 

"'Course not." Diego didn't think there was _anything_ that could make Five forget about the apocalypse. "I just think you'd be more relaxed if you got fucked every once in a while." But that wasn't the point, and if he kept talking about it, then Five would know something was going on in his head. "It was an example, not a command," Diego said, then yawned again. "These guys seem nice. Keep an eye out, but there's no need to screw ourselves. They do something real fucking fishy? Then I'll go snooping around with you. I will be happy to go snooping. I will bake a fucking celebratory cake for snooping-- but only after we get done so it doesn't ruin the surprise-- but for now, will you chill out? Good things happen sometimes." He rubbed at his face tiredly. It's not like he thought he'd be able to get to sleep as soon as he stopped talking because sleeping in a new place was always shit, no matter how comfortable the bed was. But he'd like to at least lay there feeling warm. 

Five was quiet for a long moment. The only reason Diego knew he was still there was because the room hadn't lit with his teleportation. "What if I said I had proof?" he asked. He didn't, because he would've led with that. 

"I'd say we should get Vanya next, since she's the powerhouse. Then Ben, because seeing him die once was more than enough. Then we can get everyone else." 

Another long pause. 

"Dude, can you at least lay down while you're thinking so hard? I'm cold." 

"I'm not stopping you." 

"Hmph." Diego pulled the blanket back over himself and turned onto his side, wiggling around to get comfortable. It was easier to settle with his body younger, which was weird. He would've thought that the higher energy would make it harder, but the lack of aches from past injuries on the street made it easier. Of course, that was just his first impression. It was always possible that a week from now, he'd be proven wrong. 

The last thing he expected was for Five to crawl in behind him. He didn't say anything. He pressed his forehead against Diego's back, between his shoulder blades. When Diego didn't flinch or otherwise move away, Five slowly put an arm over his waist. 

"Get some sleep," Diego murmured. 

* * *

Luther walked into Diego's room. He knocked, but he didn't wait for an answer, and even then, he only knocked once before walking straight in. "Diego, have you seen Five?" 

Diego grumbled at being woken up and half turned to look over his shoulder at the door. Luther had taken a few steps in as he talked, but it didn't look like he was planning on moving closer. 

"He's not in his-" he stopped cold when Five flung a pillow at him, having to throw it over Diego's body. "Oh. He's... in here. Okay. Um. Okay." Luther shuffled backwards awkwardly and closed the door. 

"I hope you realize that you don't get to steal my pillow just because you threw yours." 

Five made an unintelligible noise of frustration and scooted so that his back was snug against Diego's front. It conveniently let him share Diego's pillow, which did not go unnoticed. 

Diego gave a small laugh, more of a puff of air than anything else, and closed his eyes with the hope to get more sleep. He didn't, but he'd hoped. He could tell that Five did fall back asleep though, and he waited a while before deciding to move. Five had been running from one Apocalypse to the other, after all. Diego wasn't sure Five had gotten a good night's sleep in the past couple weeks. 

But since Diego wasn't able to get back to sleep, he had no intention of staying in bed for however long it took Five to wake up. Since he also didn't want for Five to wake up though, he did lay there for a while to make sure that he was fast asleep before he moved. He did it slowly, trying to extract himself as gradually as possible. 

It didn't work. 

Five woke with a quick start, like he'd been shocked. He rolled over and glared at Diego accusingly. 

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a light sleeper?" 

Five muttered something that sounded like, "Fuck off," before pushing himself up to a sitting position. He looked grumpy. 

Diego was once again struck by how hot Five looked like this. This was twice in twelve hours that he thought that. He hoped that once he met someone else in this universe, that this observation would stop. 

He didn't tell Five that he could back to sleep because it would begin and end with a pillow being beaten against his head. "I didn't _mean_ to wake you up," Diego said, because that distinction was important to him. If he'd done it on purpose, he'd take credit. 

"Hmph." 

Evidently, Diego wasn't moving fast enough for him, because Five crawled over his body and landed on slightly wobbly legs. It was gone after a moment, and he stretched his arms high over his head while rocking up onto his toes. "Are you a morning person or not?" Diego asked. 

"I'm a not-being-dead person," he grumbled. 

"So even though you don't want to be up, you're making yourself because you think you have something to prove. Who are you proving it to, exactly?" 

"That superhero team you're content to hop into bed with." 

"Well," Diego said, rolling out of bed and up to his feet in one swift move, "considering you're the person that was actually in my bed last night, maybe you should rethink using that phrase." 

"The meaning of it stands." 

"If I'm in bed with them, then we all are." 

"We're not there yet," Five said, still sounding tired as he pulled his shoes on. Diego wanted to ask why the hell he thought shoes were necessary when they were just going to go to breakfast, but he kept his mouth shut. "If I can convince you and everyone else not to be an idiot, then we won't have anything to do with them at all." 

"What would you have us do? We don't exist in this world. We have no records, no money. Where are we going to live? You already said you can't get us back to a world that's anything like ours. We're all here, and we're all alive. Can't that be enough?" 

"It _is_ enough," Five said, turning to glare at him. 

"You're not acting like it." 

"No one wants our family to be together more than me, but it's a mistake to trust these people so blindly." 

"None of us are trusting them blindly." 

"Aren't you?" Five asked, tilting his chin up to look at Diego challengingly. "We all went off to our separate little rooms without asking what kind of surveillance they had. We didn't get assurances that they wouldn't separate us in the morning." 

"You wouldn't have believed them even if they did promise that we'd stay together," Diego pointed out. Although it did make more sense why Five had been so willing to stay with him last night. It also explained why Five had been so alert at the slightest change when Diego moved. "Besides, do they really seem that duplicitous to you? Why would they care?" 

"We're a threat to them." 

"Are we? Steve's stronger than all of us, except Luther, and there's, like, three of him, plus everyone else on the team whose powers we don't know. They have no reason to try and kill us. Believing the best of someone isn't going to spontaneously make you die, Five. You should give it a try." 

Five continued to glare at him. "Am I the only one that cares about making sure we're all alive?" 

"Would either answer make you feel better?" 

He turned and headed for the door. 

"Yeah, that's what I figured," Diego muttered. 

* * *

Breakfast was a group meeting. 

Not just for the Umbrella Academy, but for the Avengers as well. All of them, crowded into the kitchen. 

Even calling it a 'breakfast meeting' wasn't accurate because none of them were eating when Diego got there-- the last one to show up, he might add. They were talking about what they _should_ eat. 

"I think we should just order something," one of the Avengers said. Diego was pretty sure that one was Clint, but it was hard to know for sure when all of the Avengers were dressed in their pajamas and with messy hair. Tony was a notable exception to that, already dressed in a suit for the day and somewhat distanced from the group with a mug of coffee in one hand and a slab of technology in the other. 

The rest of them were in their uniforms since they didn't have any other clothes. 

"You only think that because it was your morning to cook," Sam said with a snort. 

"To be fair, none of us were expecting to have twice as many people this morning," Natasha said. 

Diego joined his siblings in waiting for a decision to be made, though Five was chugging his coffee and then refilling it at the counter. 

"Maybe we should go out to eat," Bucky said. "Let them get a good look at our world. We have to buy them clothes anyways, right?" 

"I thought we agreed to do that online?" Tony asked. 

"No, you said that we should, and none of us agreed," Steve said. "I think going out sounds like a good idea." 

"But I won't get to come," Tony said, pouting. 

"Neither will I," Sam said. "Not for shopping, at least-- and neither can you, Steve. I told the guys at the VA that we'd come by today." 

"Right, I forgot that was today." Steve glanced at Allison before turning his attention back to Sam. "I don't really want to leave them alone, though. Could we reschedule?" 

"Our day is wide open," Natasha said, speaking for Clint as well. 

"Mine too," Bucky said. "The three of us will be fine with them." 

"You mean that you think the three of you can kill us if something goes wrong," Five muttered, not bothering to keep his voice quiet. 

"Five," Vanya chastised. 

"It's what they mean, and we all know it." 

"If that's what I implied, I didn't mean to," Bucky said. He didn't sound over-the-top sincere, which was good; Five never would've believed him if he tried too hard. 

"Then what did you mean," Five said, looking over at him. He held his coffee close, but his other hand stayed on the counter as if to say 'see? I'm not intimidated enough by you to act defensive'. 

Bucky met his stare evenly. Not challenging, not condescending-- even and equal. Respectful, almost. Either that or Diego was reading a lot more into this than he needed to, but with everyone's safety on the line, he'd prefer to overanalyze than miss something obvious like he'd done with Lila. "That if someone tried to hurt you, the three of us could protect you and your siblings. If anyone finds out you have powers, they might try to use you for their own means. As far as we're concerned, that makes all of you people we need to protect." 

Five gave a short hum and turned back to his coffee without another word. 

"I think new clothes sound great," Ben said enthusiastically, ignoring the tense atmosphere Five had created. "I've been wearing the same thing for ages. And I've always wanted to try crepes. Can we go somewhere with crepes?" 

"Crepes aren't all they're played up to be," Klaus said. "Very disappointing. They're like poorly made pancakes." 

"How would you know? You've never had crepes," Ben said. 

"I've seen pictures and-" 

"We'd be happy to go with you," Vanya interrupted, aiming a smile at Clint, since he was the one closest to her. Then she tilted to look at Five. "Right?" 

"Hmph." 

Diego caught Vanya's eye as she turned back around and gave a small nod. Five wasn't going to let them get separated so soon, and even if he did stay behind, Diego would stay with him. Better to make dumb choices together than separately. 

"Great, everyone's on board," she said. 

"I know this is really minor," Allison said, playing with the end of her hair, "but do you think I could dye my hair again? I miss it being blonde." 

"You made such a good blonde," Klaus said. "And having your hair straightened all the time was just horrid." 

"Right? I'm not sure it ever would've recovered from all of that damage." 

"Are we going to eat right now?" Ben asked. 

"Yes," Natasha said. "Give us a couple minutes to get changed, and then we'll go." Her and the other two men that had agreed to accompany them left-- though Bucky did pause to chug his glass of orange juice before he went. 

"Jan's going to be sad she missed this," Tony noted idly. 

"Jan would take each of them to her tailor for twelve hours," Steve said. "It's a good thing that she's in Paris right now." 

"You say that like she won't see the off-the-rack clothes we bought for them and object." 

"She'll have to get used to it," Diego said. "No way am I going to stand in front of a tailor." 

"What if we said it was required?" Tony asked curiously. It was obvious that it was a hypothetical question, but Five still glared at him like it was serious. 

"I'd say fuck you." 

"Diego," Luther groaned, resigned to his brother acting like this but still feeling the need to protest. 

"What? He asked. Hey Five, is there juice in the fridge?" 

"Check for yourself," he grumbled. 

Ben helpfully opened the fridge door and looked. "There's like five juices. Which one do you want?" 

"If you say pomegranate, I'm going to hurl," Allison told him. 

"Pomegranate would be very in keeping with his personality though, don't you think?" Klaus mused. 

Diego rolled his eyes. 

* * *

Diego had very little interest in buying new clothes. He grabbed a couple of dark wash jeans and a pack of black t-shirts and called it good. He passed by the underwear and grabbed a pack of those as well. It took him less than five minutes. 

Vanya and Allison were having a good time of it. Vanya was excited to run over to the men's section-- well, boy's section because she needed the clothes to actually fit-- and pick out some button downs. Allison joined her as part of their sisterly-bonding, then they ran off to the women's section so Allison could judge the current fashions and decide if she wanted to follow it or go a different direction towards what she liked. 

Luther was following Allison around, and he looked his usual blend of anxious and awkward. 

Klaus and Ben seemed to be arguing about the tightness of jeans, and like hell was Diego getting in the middle of that. 

So he joined Five. 

Natasha stayed with the girls and Luther, Clint looked to be pitching in his two cents for Klaus and Ben's argument, and Bucky made like he was going to stay with Five-- and by extension, Diego. The trouble was, Five glared up at him and said, "I'm not going anywhere, and I don't need a goddamn bodyguard." 

Bucky met his stare evenly. He seemed like a really calm guy. Diego _wished_ he could be that calm, but it's like every time someone made him angry, he couldn't get past it. Bucky took the time to put his thoughts together, where Diego just kind of spewed whatever first came to mind-- ironic, considering all the problems he used to have with getting words out. "Do you really hate us that much?" Bucky asked. 

"I don't know you well enough to hate you, and even if I did, it shouldn't matter to you." 

When Bucky paused to think of what he wanted his response to be, Diego interrupted, "Are there shoes here?" 

"I don't know, but we were planning to go to a shoe store after this," he answered. They hadn't talked about it in front of him or his siblings, but clearly their Avenger escorts had decided that was the smart decision. 

"Cool. Five, go on and pick out a suit or whatever, I want to get new boots." 

"I could go with you to the shoe store while the rest of them finish up here, if you want," Bucky offered. 

"That won't be necessary," Five said immediately, pairing it with a sharp smile. He grabbed Diego's free arm and started dragging him to the appropriate section of the store. 

Bucky watched them for a moment, wondering if he should push the issue. He decided that it would be for the best to leave them alone, for now. Five would only be pushed to his limit if Bucky continued to hover, and to be honest, it wasn't his idea of fun to be watching over some teenagers that wanted nothing to do with him. 

"You're a weird guy, you know that?" Diego said to Five. 

"What are you on about now?" 

"Back there with Bucky. You had the chance to get him off your case without him thinking too much about it, and you didn't take it." 

"Leaving the two of you alone isn't a good solution," Five said, sounding like he was forcing the words past his teeth. 

"Aww, were you worried about me?" 

Five cut another glare in his direction. 

Diego stopped teasing, but he didn't drop his smile. Five only let go of his hand when they got to the men's section that had suits. "Seriously? I was kidding." 

"They're comfortable." 

"Suits. Suits are comfortable." 

"I'm not going to repeat myself just because you don't care to listen." 

"I'm listening, but I'm in disbelief. You really are such an old man." 

"It took you this long to notice?" Five asked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

"You know what I mean." 

Five started going through the button-ups and trousers. He outright scoffed at the jackets but managed to find several shirts and pants that he wanted to try on. 

It only took a little bit of wandering around before they found the changing rooms, and since he didn't have anything better to do, Diego sat down and waited. 

"Aren't you going to try those on?" Five asked, sticking his head out the door to raise an eyebrow. 

"I know they'll fit." 

"Do you?" he asked, the question heavy with meaning. None of them were in bodies they knew very well. 

Diego sighed. "Fine." The shirts were in pre-sealed packages, so it's not like he was going to try those on. Making sure the jeans fit wasn't a bad idea, though. There was an open slot next to Five, so he walked in and locked the door. Taking off his shoes and the Academy's little shorts reminded him like a punch to the stomach that this wasn't the body he was used to. He had to swallow past a flare of anger, knowing that it wouldn't do him any good to get upset about it. 

When he'd picked out the jeans, he had remembered that this body was smaller, and had chosen a smaller size accordingly. 

He'd still overshot. Of the three that he'd picked up, none of them fit right. He'd successfully gotten them small enough at the hips-- or close to it-- but all of them were too long at the legs. With a sigh, he folded all three pairs back up and walked out of the dressing room. "You still in there, Five?" 

"Not all of us picked out two shirts and nothing else." 

Diego rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go get different sizes." 

"We shouldn't split up," Five said, opening the changing room door just to narrow his eyes at Diego. 

Diego would like to say that his eyes didn't wander, but they did. Five had been in the middle of changing when he decided to stick his head out. It meant that there was a shirt pulled over his shoulders but hanging open, which was worse for Diego's nerves than if Five had just been bare-chested. Something about him being half dressed was more enticing than if he hadn't been wearing anything. Diego's mind immediately flashed to pushing his hands under the shirt to get at warm skin. He was pretty sure that Five would kill him if he did that, so he said, "What's the harm in splitting up? We're all in the same store. You're not even showing me if your clothes fit." 

"Do you want me to?" Five asked, confused. 

"That's what people do when they try on clothes." 

"How would you know?" 

"Movies." Also he'd gone shopping with Eudora a couple times, and she'd wanted his opinion. "And an ex-girlfriend," he added, because Five was more likely to believe him if he said that. 

"Fine," Five said. "I'll show you." He closed the door again. "Not that it matters. You have no taste." 

"How would you know?" 

"Every outfit I've seen you in." 

"I'm not comfortable in fancy shit, but I know if it looks good. Some of us choose function over fashion." 

"Hmph. We'll see," Five said. 

"You're awfully picky for someone that won't let me do what I want." 

"You could always sit there quietly," Five pointed out. "You're the one that demanded to see what I'm trying on." 

"I'm trying to keep from being bored to death out here." 

"You'll survive." 

Diego huffed, but a few seconds later, Five opened the door wide. 

"So?" 

His heart beat double time. Diego might've had problems knowing his size, but Five had no such issue. Maybe he'd been a bit premature in saying that Five was more enticing half dressed than in any other state of clothed. His first thought was that of _course_ Five looked good. Of course Five wore suits because not only did he find them comfortable, but he looked _good_ in them. Better than a person should look in a button up shirt, to be honest. What was the point of a button up shirt, anyways? It took longer to put on and take off, and it was only so it could fit too tightly to fight in. 

Diego's imagination ever so graciously provided him with the image of undoing each button on that stupid shirt and kissing skin as it was revealed. 

He was simultaneously too young and too old for this. Too young to be thinking about sex in public where he'd get an erection so easily, and too old to be thinking about sex this often. Seriously. He'd already gone through this once in his lifetime, and that had been more than enough. 

"I don't think black's your color," was what he ended up saying. 

"I was only planning on getting one in black. Most of them are blue." 

Diego mulled that over. "Blue's a good color," _for you_. Diego was pretty sure he'd look like shit in blue, but Five would look like a damn god. "I don't know what you're going to do with a black one." 

"Variety for my closet," he said, closing the changing room door again. 

"Are you buying an entire wardrobe right now?" 

"Aren't you?" 

"I wasn't planning on it," Diego said honestly. Enough to get him through the week. 

"Plan differently," Five ordered. "They offered to buy everything for us, and we won't get this chance again." 

That was a pretty good point. He hadn't really thought about it, but they had no money and no identities to get jobs with. No possessions or clothes of their own. "Fine." 

Five came out a minute later with all of his clothes slung over one arm. 

They finished shopping, with Five talking him into choosing more and more items. In the end, it was a smart decision-- if only because he'd forgotten about socks and something to sleep in. Five made him get a shirt with buttons though, which was a mistake. He was never going to wear it, and the only reason he'd agreed to it in the first place was because his mind had been stuck on the way Five's shirt had stretched across his chest so that every move of his arm had been visible. He hadn't been able to get his mind off of Five and his new body-- a body that was compatible with his own, he couldn't help but notice. 

They got back to the Tower, and when he was told to put away his purchases, he didn't think twice about it until he was half-done. Putting everything away meant that they were planning on staying a while. 

They hadn't talked about the exact timeline. They were waiting for that doctor Tony had mentioned to tell them that it was hopeless before they officially said that they were stuck here. Thoughts of Five had completely clouded his mind like he was a kid with his first crush again. God, he needed to focus before he fucked something up beyond repair.


	4. Recreated Scar

They'd called it a trip for clothes, but it ended up being more than that. Clothes and shoes, yes, but afterwards, they brought Allison to a salon so she could get her hair dyed. Diego jumped on the chance to get his hair cut short again, and after Natasha easily agreed to it, Vanya got hers cut as well. 

Diego had missed having his hair like this. Shaved close on the sides, and too short on top for someone to get a hand in. Call him paranoid, but he felt safer already. Vanya couldn't do anything about her bangs, but she got her hair cut to the top of her shoulders instead of letting it swing halfway down on her back. 

The rest of them just sat there, waiting. Klaus declared that he was going to grow his hair out again, Ben was fine with his hair as it was, and Luther said that he was willing to keep it at this length for a while. He didn't admit as much, but personally, Diego thought that he was scared of looking baby-faced. 

As soon as everyone had started pitching in their two cents, Five's jaw had gone all tight. Diego had half a mind to tell him that if he didn't relax soon, he was going to be labeled as permanently fuckable in Diego's mind. He wasn't going to do that, obviously, but seriously, this was getting out of hand. If Five smirked at him while looking like that, there would be no return. Diego would be toast. Absolutely done for. The last time he'd been this hopeless was with his first girlfriend, but that had been because he'd never really had someone like him before. They'd ended up breaking up because she'd wanted an Umbrella Academy hero, and instead she'd gotten him. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen with Five, but that was working with the assumption that Five was the least bit interested in him in return. Which he wasn't. But Diego’s hormones were acting like this was the first time he’d felt anything for another person. 

After getting their hair the way they all wanted-- with Allison practically glowing with happiness-- they were walking down the street, laden with bags, and Klaus caught sight of a crafts store. Naturally, he pleaded for them to go inside. When Diego and the rest of his siblings-- excepting Ben-- looked at him incredulously, he said that knitting was more fun than it looked. 

"When the hell did you learn how to knit?" Diego asked. 

"Rehab! You ever tried tying something off while your hands are shaking from withdrawal? Not so easy, my friends. Not so easy." 

"Withdrawal from what?" Natasha asked. 

Klaus paused, as if remembering for the first time that it wasn't just their family present. Given how often that was the case, no one could blame him. Except for Five, but that was just how he was. He’d given a brush off of an answer, but Natasha didn’t call him on it. 

Klaus was the only one who had an interest in this place, but the rest of them looked around while he debated over yarn choices. Diego was mostly walking through the aisles while his eyes glanced over the different items, but he paused when he saw a package labeled 'chalk pens'. It boasted different colors, and when he picked it off the rack, the back of it said how easy it was to clean up after. ' _Great for children! No more marker stains on your walls. With these, they can draw as much as they want, and you still have easy clean up! Simply wet a washcloth and wipe!'_ Five wasn't a kid, but Diego had seen what he did to his wall at the Academy-- both before the Apocalypse and when they were kids. 

Holding it, Diego walked over to Clint and asked if he could get it. If it had been for any of his other siblings, he would've shown it to them and let them figure it out, but Five would either ignore him or tell him that he could take care of himself. 

Clint added it to Klaus's knitting needles with an easy, "Sure." 

Five didn't see them until they were gathered around the checkout counter as Natasha paid for everything. His eyes caught on the chalk pen set, but he didn't say anything. As they turned to leave for the Tower, Diego caught sight of a small smile, and his heart thumped traitorously loud in his chest-- he looked just as attractive smiling as he did scowling. 

It really wasn't fair that Five got to be hot while Diego was having a personal crisis. 

And he was. Having a crisis, that is. And the crisis wasn’t because of Five being hot, although that was the cherry on top of an ice cream sundae that he really didn’t need. 

He’d thought that the new clothes would make him feel better. More comfortable in his skin. He'd spent so long picking out ones that actually fit that he wanted them to be good. He'd goddamn hoped they'd be good for something _other_ than not being the uniform, but they weren’t. 

The clothes didn't make him feel any better. If anything, they made it worse. The clothes were his choice-- things that he'd felt comfortable in for far longer than he'd been in the Academy uniform-- but wearing them made the itch under his skin unbearable. Add the haircut to that, and he expected for his body to feel back to normal now, but it didn’t. 

Five was the only one that had had to deal with this before, so he'd be the one who best knew how to cope. Diego went to his room. The door was open, so he leaned against the frame for a moment as he watched Five stand on top of the nightstand to reach the top of the wall as he wrote. He had opened the chalk pens and liberally started using them. It was like a rainbow of equations on the wall. Diego didn't know if Five was using the different colors to mean different things. He could ask, but it's not like he'd understand even if Five did explain. 

"Do you have a minute?" Diego asked. 

"That depends on what you need the minute for." 

"Just to talk." 

Five finished writing something then turned to face him, signaling that he was ready. He didn't sit down or otherwise move. 

"Is this how you've felt this entire time?" Diego asked, tugging uselessly at his collar, like it would make it easier for him to breathe. 

"What?" Five asked. 

Diego pushed himself off the doorframe and took a few steps into Five's room. "Like you're not yourself." 

Five's expression... softened. He understood. Diego had known that he would. "It was worse when I was thirteen." 

"How do you deal with it?" At this point, he'd give _any_ advice a try. It hadn’t even been a week, and he felt like he was going to self-destruct. 

"The clothes help," Five said, motioning to the suit he was wearing. "It's a fashion I like, but not close enough to my old outfit to make me hate it."

Maybe that was the problem, then. Diego had chosen clothes that were exactly like the ones he'd had before. Not that he knew how he'd change the style enough to find the balance Five was talking about, and even if he did, they'd _just_ gone and bought clothes. He couldn't very well ask for them to take him back for another try because he'd fucked up. "Anything else?" 

"I was dealing with an apocalypse. I can't say I had a lot of time to worry about it, much less find ways of being more comfortable," Five said dryly. 

"Did getting drunk help?" 

"Yes, but you don't drink." 

"Who told you that?" 

"Klaus. Was he wrong?" Five asked. Sometimes deciphering what Klaus said was hard, not because it was difficult to understand what he was saying, but because his line between truth and lies was nearly indistinguishable. 

"I drink sometimes." But never in excess, and not very often. He'd had to stay in fighting condition for both his patrols and the fights that he signed up for at the gym. 

"Hm. I suppose... I do things that ground me. It gets my mind off my body, and it helps me ensure that I'm still connected to who I am. I run probabilities. You could sharpen your knives." 

He could. Or he could go on the street and see how this body held up in a fight. He'd do that right now if he thought one of the Avengers wouldn't tail after him. Maybe in a few weeks, when they weren't watching him as closely, but he wouldn't get away with it tonight. "Yeah. I'll do that. Thanks." 

Five hummed in acknowledgement and turned back to the wall, and Diego left. 

Diego went back to his room and used the bathroom. He washed his hands, and his eyes kept coming back to his reflection. He knew that he'd looked like this once, but it didn't feel like him anymore. Getting to sleep had been easier, but he was too scrawny. He didn't have the muscles that he'd worked so hard for. He didn't have any scars that he'd gotten since becoming an adult. 

There weren't very many of them, but they had been his. Each one had been because he'd helped someone. Saving lives, that's what he'd been about. He didn't know what he was going to do in this world or if they'd even let him continue helping people, but each scar he'd gotten as an adult had been a reminder of why he put in all that effort. A scar on him would've killed someone else. All those times he'd been arrested, getting kicked out of the police force, and being ridiculed had been worth it because he'd helped people. 

And now it was like none of it had happened. 

There was no bullet wound on his left calf. No jagged scar over his ear from falling through that window. His ribs hadn't been broken from getting kicked too many times in the stomach. His knees weren't weak from hundreds of hard landings. His hands still had all the nicks and cuts from trying to catch knives when he was younger, but it wasn't enough to compensate for everything else, especially when the umbrella tattoo was nice and dark against the inside of his wrist instead of faded like he’d gotten used to. 

He slept easier, but he hardly felt like himself. One day had basically been fine. He had been pissed about the change to his face, but he'd been fine. 

He wasn't fine anymore. He looked in the mirror, and it was like watching a stranger that copied his movements. He dried off his hands and kept looking at his reflection, considering. The haircut helped a little, but not enough. His hand twitched towards one of his knives before he knew what he was doing. 

He paused, hand frozen in place. The wound above his ear had been superficial. He had no intention of getting shot in the leg again, but the scar above his ear would be all to easy to replicate. He finished reaching for his knife and flipped it through his fingers thoughtfully. He tapped the flat edge against his cheek. His hair was short on the sides again, so he didn't have to worry about it getting in his way. 

He could easily make the cut with his knife, but it would be neat. The scar had been jagged and wide because the window he'd fallen through had been thick. Any cut he made with his knife would be thin; there was no point in doing this if it wasn't going to look right. There were scissors that would be thick enough, but they weren't sharp enough. 

The lights above the mirror glinted against the knife, and the reflection of it caught in the mirror, giving him an idea. 

The mirror was pretty thick. If he got a piece of it, it would work better than anything else he had. All he had to do was break it in pieces. He'd have to apologize for it later, but he could do that. 

He tucked his knife away, then curled his hand into a fist and slammed it into the mirror. He hissed through his teeth at the splinters that landed in his knuckles, then glared at the mirror. It had spiderwebs of breaks in it, but it hadn't busted into pieces. 

He picked up the toothbrush holder and hit the mirror. A couple more times, and it finally broke apart. There was still a large chunk of it glued to the wall, and the rest of the pieces were scattered across the counter. He dropped the toothbrush holder and gingerly picked up a chunk of mirror that was about the size of his hand. He shuffled over to the side so he could look in the part of the mirror that was still standing and tightened his grip on the piece he was holding. He felt it bite into his hand, but this wasn't going to take very long. 

He turned his head and brought his hand up. He started in the back and slashed forward, towards the front of his face. There was a bare moment, and then the pain started. It was only another second, and then it started bleeding. 

That was around the time that he realized he was still holding his broken piece of the mirror, and he didn't have anything to stop the bleeding. "Shit," he muttered, dropping the mirror with a clatter. The hand that had been holding it had to be bleeding too, so he reached around with his other hand and pressed it against the wound as he stumbled over to the cupboard. There were hand towels in here, right? He was pretty sure that there were. He heard his boots crunching against the mirror bits that had landed on the floor and was very glad that he wasn't barefoot while he'd done this. 

Someone knocked on the door. Not the bathroom door, but the door to his bedroom. "Diego, you in there?" he heard faintly, followed by more knocking. 

"Shit," he said again. He looked around and realized, all at once, that he'd made a mess and didn't have a good excuse. 

"I'm gonna come in," the man said. 

Diego heard the door open and bit down on his lip. What the hell was he going to do? He wasn't Five; he couldn't pop out of here to avoid questions and talk people into a corner when they tried to question him, and obviously Allison could deal with it if she needed to. His first thought was to escape out the window, but there was no window in here, not to mention that one of his hands was occupied and the other was injured. 

He jolted when there was a knock on the bathroom door, but really, what had he expected? 

"Diego, are you in there?" Now that he was closer, Diego knew that it was Clint. 

Diego licked his lips and hoped that his voice would come out normal. "Yeah, what's up?" 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine." He was pretty happy that his voice didn't shake and that his stutter didn't make an unwelcome appearance-- not that it ever had with pain, but this world had a lot of firsts. 

There was a long pause, where Diego hoped that Clint would leave. "Are you sure? I heard some crashing earlier." 

"It's nothing." _Just go away, leave me alone._

"It didn't sound like nothing. Did the mirror break? I did that once, and it made a mess." 

Diego swallowed thickly. Clearly, Clint wasn't going to drop it, and even if he did, what would Diego do? He'd have to tell them that the mirror was broken at some point, and there was point in convincing Clint that it wasn't right now if he was going to tell the truth later. "Yeah, it-" He couldn't say it was an accident. It was pretty obvious that he'd broken it on purpose. He'd love to be able to Rumor him to not worry about it. "I can clean it up." 

"I'm sure you can, but let me help you? You know how mirrors are, the glass gets everywhere, and I don't want you to step on one a week from now." 

"Thanks, but I can get it." _Go away._

Another pause. "Open the door, please," he said. 

Damn it. He was suspicious, and all of Diego's deflecting hadn't helped his case. Even that wouldn't have been enough to change Diego's mind, but he was pretty sure he'd soaked through the towel he was holding up to his head, and the wound was starting to throb. He'd like some painkillers, but there weren't any in here. 

"Diego?" 

He'd taken too long to answer, so he just reached for the doorknob and turned it, preemptively wincing at what Clint was going to say. 

Clint's eyes darted from Diego's shamed expression to the bloody towel, to the mess that had been made of the bathroom. "Why don't you take your shoes off here so that we don't track glass everywhere, and then I'll take you to medical to get that taken care of." 

"Uh." Diego glanced down at his lace-up boots. He wouldn't be able to get those off without moving his hand holding the towel, or working with the hand that he'd used to punch the mirror. But Clint was right in that he shouldn't track glass through his room, so he shuffled towards the wall and leaned against it. Gingerly, he started pulling at the knot and wiggled his foot out. Clint backed away from the door so that Diego could put his foot down on safe carpet. It took some awkward shifting, but he managed to do the same with his other foot. 

"I'm gonna call Bucky and have him meet us there. He's better with the medical shit." 

Diego nodded and followed Clint out of his room and down the hall. 

Clint pulled something out of his pocket, tapped at it a few times, then held it up to his ear. Was it a phone? It must be, because then Clint said, "Hey man, it's me. Can you meet me in medical? Diego had a bit of an accident." A pause. "I dunno, I'll ask." He moved it away from his mouth and said, "Do you want us to bring any of your siblings along?" 

"No." They'd just be judgmental and ask him what the hell had happened. Since all of them knew about the scar on his head, he wasn't looking forward to dealing with it. 

Clint moved the phone back into place. "He said he doesn't need any of them. Yeah." His eyes darted to Diego, then away again. "Yeah, I know." He snorted. "Relax, Buckaroo, I may not be good ol' Captain America, but people like me anyways." Then, "I guess you could bring Sam, but I don't know what good that would do. See you in a minute." He put it back in his pocket. 

He expected to be asked what happened, but Clint didn't say a word. They walked to the elevator, went down a floor, then got off. The room Clint led him to looked like it was straight out of a hospital. It reminded him of the infirmary they'd had at the Academy. He half expected to look in the center and see Allison as an adult with her throat cut and Mom standing next to her, but there was no one there except for him and Clint. 

Clint directed him to a chair and started puttering around, grabbing tweezers, gauze, and an empty blue bin. 

Bucky showed up less than a minute later with his hair tied back, while Clint was looking at different bottles. "Sorry I'm late, I was talking with Tony, and then I ran into Five and he wanted to tag along." 

Diego craned his neck to look around Bucky, then groaned. 

Five had been hidden by Bucky's bulk, and when their eyes met, he did not look happy. "When you asked me for advice, I didn't think you'd do something this stupid." 

"Shows how much you know then, doesn't it," Diego muttered. 

"What do you mean he asked you for advice?" Bucky asked. 

"It's personal," Five said. 

"If he's hurting himself on purpose, it's the kind of personal that we need to know," Bucky said. 

Diego wondered if Clint had used some sort of code and he hadn't noticed. It’s not like a cut on the head had obviously been done on purpose. 

"It won't happen again," Five said. 

"You know that for sure?" 

"Yes." 

Bucky glanced at Diego, then Five, then shrugged. "If you say so, but if something like this happens again, we're not going to let you tell us that it's none of our business. There's a difference between respecting your privacy and negligence." 

"We'll remember that," Five said. 

"You don't have to be here," Diego said to him. 

"I'm aware." Five folded his arms over his chest and waited. 

Clint brought over a few bottles, and Bucky put on gloves. How that worked with his metal hand, Diego had no idea, and he didn't plan on asking. Bucky gently grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his head. Diego caught sight of how red it was, and he was a little surprised that he didn't feel more lightheaded. "Here," Clint said, handing Bucky a wet cloth. 

Bucky took it and wiped carefully at his head until the blood around the area was gone. He set it aside, then opened a bottle and wet a gauze square with it. 

"What is that?" Five asked, before he could apply it. 

"Numbing agent. He's going to need stitches." 

"No I don't," Diego said quickly. 

"Uh, no, you definitely need stitches," Clint said. "You can't see it, but it's deep." 

"I know it's deep. I don't need stitches." 

Five rolled his eyes. 

"We're familiar with injuries-- both giving them and getting them-- so believe us when we say you need stitches," Bucky said. 

"I'll heal fine without stitches," Diego insisted. 

"He's afraid of needles," Five said, the little traitor. 

Diego glared at him. "No I'm not, but I don't need stitches." 

Five rolled his eyes again and walked forward with sure steps. He picked up a needle and went to poke Diego in the arm with it. 

He knew that Five didn't bluff, so he jerked away from it. He underestimated how big his jerk was going to be though, and ended up stumbling to his feet on the opposite side of the stool Clint had had him sit on. 

Looking like a smug asshole, Five tossed the needle back where he'd found it. "He'll be fine with butterfly bandages." 

"You sure about that?" Bucky asked. "I don't want him to roll over in the middle of the night and start bleeding again." 

"I'll be fine," Diego said gruffly, sitting back down with his face burning. 

"Alright, man, that's your call," Clint said. 

Bucky looked like he had something he wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. "We'll still use a little of this," he said, raising the gauze, "for the pain. Clint, can you grab the- yeah, thanks." 

Clint set a pack of butterfly bandages on the tray Bucky was using. "If you're good here, I was gonna start cleaning up his bathroom." 

"We're good," Bucky said, but Diego protested. 

"You don't have to do that. I'll clean it up." It was his fucking mess. A mess he'd made on purpose, with no thought as to what excuse he'd give when it was discovered. Was he the only sibling-- other than Klaus-- that didn't think shit through? He couldn't imagine Luther doing what he'd just done. Then again, Luther wasn't one for destroying things. Never had been, and probably never would be. 

Clint waved him off. "No, it's okay. I need something to do, anyways. Nat's painting her nails, and it's stinking up the whole place." 

Five watched Clint leave but didn't say anything. When the door closed, he turned back to Bucky and Diego. 

Bucky methodically put butterfly bandages all along the length of the cut. "It'll start to hurt in about half an hour." 

"Okay." 

"Which hand is hurt?" 

Diego didn't bother asking how he knew that his hand was injured to. He just lifted it, clenching his jaw when Bucky said, "I wonder what the mirror did to piss you off so much." It was clear that Bucky didn't expect an answer, which was good, since Diego didn't know what he could possibly say to that. "It's gonna sting as I get the glass out," he warned, and Diego nodded. 

Five stood there during the entire tedious process as Bucky picked up the tweezers and picked out the shards of the mirror that had gotten stuck. 

Bucky finished, pulling off his gloves and tossing them into the trashcan. "I can't wrap your hand, so just be careful with it." 

"Yeah." Then, thinking that he should be nicer to the guy that just helped him, he added, "Thanks." 

"No problem. We're all meeting in the kitchen in twenty minutes for dinner, so I'll see you then." 

"Thanks," Diego said again, then got to his feet. 

Five followed him, and they walked side by side to the elevator. He didn't say anything until the doors closed on them. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

"You said to find something I was familiar with." 

"I didn't think you'd take that to mean you should mutilate yourself!" 

"I admit I didn't think it through very well-" or at all "-but I didn't _mutilate_ myself." 

The elevator doors opened, and Diego walked out. "Would you prefer the phrase 'self-harm'? Because I fail to see what the difference is at this moment." 

"People who self-harm are depressed and suicidal. I'm neither of those things." 

"Right, because people who are perfectly mentally sound always smash a mirror and cut their heads open with it." 

"I didn't cut my fucking head open, and I'm not depressed." 

"That's not what it sounded like when you came and talked to me." 

"Are you trying to pull the high ground right now? Seriously? You, Five? You're not a picture of mental stability." 

"I'm not the one injuring myself just to mimic a fucking scar that I used to have." 

"You're full of shit, is what you are," Diego said. "You're not better than me." 

"I would argue that I'm better than you in every conceivable way," Five said, and Diego rolled his eyes because he should've seen that coming. 

"Great, then go back to writing on your walls and leave me alone." 

"If I leave you alone, are you going to do this again?" 

"Don't be stupid." 

"Of course not, how foolish of me; you'll have to break someone else's mirror this time, since you don't have one of your own." 

"Anyone ever tell you that you're an asshole?" 

"You and our siblings, all the time. What I really don't understand is why you went to Clint when you realized that you needed help. Was he the first person you saw?" 

"I didn't go looking for him, he showed up at my door." 

"What?" 

"He said he heard the noise and came to make sure I was okay." 

Diego expected for Five to say that he wasn't okay in any sense of the word, but when he glanced at Five, he was frowning. "He heard it?" 

"Yeah." 

"My room's down the hall from yours, and I didn't hear anything." 

"Maybe he was walking by." 

Five shook his head. "I saw him pass, and he was in a hurry. He went right to your door and started knocking. I assumed you had called him." 

“No.” There _were_ phones in their rooms, but Diego didn’t know anyone’s number. He’d picked it up one time just to make sure it had a dial tone. Five had a suspicious look on his face. "What are you getting at?" Diego asked. 

"He knew you were doing something stupid before he was in that hallway." 

"How could he possibly know that? It's not like they have blood sensors or something." 

"Maybe not, but there's definitely something they're not telling us." 

"There's a shit ton of stuff they're not telling us. Like phones. Did you know that Clint has a phone that he can carry in his pocket? It's weird; it looks more like a coaster than a phone." The phones in their rooms looked mostly normal, but the phone Clint had was unrecognizable. 

"No, not like phones," Five said, aggravated. "And we know that their technology is ahead of ours because of their television." 

"Yeah, but it still looked mostly like a television; it didn't look like something else entirely." 

"You're missing the point. He had no way of knowing you were hurt, but he did anyways." 

"Maybe you can ask him about it at dinner. I'm going to go see if I can-" 

"No," Five said, grabbing his arm and digging in his feet so Diego couldn't get away. "You've lost being alone privileges." 

Diego stared at him for a long moment, and Five stared back evenly. "Are you serious?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"Because right now, I don't trust you anymore than Klaus." 

"Hey-" 

"If you argue, I'm going to make you spend time with him," Five threatened. 

"That's not really the horrible disaster you think it is." Klaus was weird, but he wasn't bad company. Besides, now that Ben was back, visiting with Klaus meant spending time with Ben too. 

"Klaus is with Ben, Ben is with Allison, and Allison is with Luther and Vanya." 

AKA, being banished to spend time with Klaus meant seeing all of them all at once right after he'd hurt himself and didn't have an excuse. Five wouldn't be there to cover for him this time, which meant he'd have to tell them the truth. It was pretty obvious from the location what he'd been doing, but he didn't want to deal with all of them berating him about it at the same time. "Fine," Diego said. "But I hope you realize that I don't have anything to do in your room." 

"You can read a book," Five said, pulling him that direction. All of their rooms were on the same hallway, so he dragged him inside and shut the door. Diego caught a glimpse of his own room and saw that the door was still open. He didn't have the space to see if there was anyone inside it still, though. 

Five tossed a book at him before moving to the wall like he'd never left it. He'd moved the nightstand to the side like it was a step stool. 

Diego caught it and, after a moment's deliberation, walked over to the bed and sat down. There was no other place to sit, and like hell was he going to stand there like an idiot as Five scratched at the wall. "You're like a cat, you know that?" 

"You can explain that ridiculous comparison at a later time," Five said, tapping the chalk-free end of his pen against his chin for a second before writing something down. 

"I will," Diego said, then he looked down at the book Five had given him. The Odyssey, in English. With a snort, he opened it. It's not like he had anything better to do at the moment, so what was the harm? 

He wrinkled his nose at the first page and resisted the urge to scratch at his head. Bucky had said it would be numb for thirty minutes, but it had worn off far sooner. Maybe the thirty minutes estimate had been to make him reconsider getting stitches-- but like hell was he going to change his mind. 

By the tenth page, he'd decided that this version was horrible. He almost said something to Five but figured that if he interrupted him while he was doing... whatever it was he was doing, Five would kick him out. 

A little bit later, Five checked his watch, then jumped down from his perch. Personally, Diego didn't understand why he was working his way across the top of the room when all the parts of the wall he could reach from the floor were still blank. "Time for dinner." 

Diego snapped the book shut and left it on Five's bed as he got up. "That translation's shit, by the way." 

"Is it?" Five said, opening the door. They started walking to the kitchen, and Diego pushed down the urge to double check that his bathroom was clean. "That's a shame. They didn't have the original when I asked." 

"If you try to read that one, you're just going to end up destroying it." 

"Good to know. Maybe I'll see if they have any contemporary literature I might find interesting." 

They walked into the kitchen, and Klaus was the first one to notice. "Diego, what happened?" The rest of their siblings turned to look. 

Five snorted and said, "He's an idiot, that's what happened," carelessly like he hadn't been yelling at him twenty minutes ago. 

"Gee, thanks Five, I knew you were my favorite brother." 

"Oh I think we all know that Ben is your favorite," Klaus joked, but his expression remained serious. 

"I'm everyone's favorite," Ben said, but he, too, was looking at Diego, concerned. 

Vanya was a pal, because she offered, "Five's my favorite." 

"I'm not your favorite?" Allison asked. 

"You're my favorite sister?" 

"I'm your _only_ sister." 

"Yes, and you're my overall second favorite," Vanya said. 

"You're my favorite, Allison," Luther said. 

Klaus started laughing. "Yeah, big surprise there, big guy. Ben, I'm your favorite, right?" He put his hands together in a pleading fashion and fluttered his eyelashes. 

"Actually, I think Vanya's my favorite." 

Diego took an open spot next to Bucky since he, at least, wouldn't ask about it. Bucky and Steve were the only Avengers in the room, and they were both silent. Steve was stirring a giant vat of something on the stove. Diego didn't know what it was, but it smelled good. He also noticed that the table was new. Things had been a little cramped at lunch, with only a few of the Avengers showing up to the kitchen to eat. There had been some creative shuffling around the table and people eating at the counter or in the living room. This was a different table. Big enough to have both groups there at the same time. 

"What? We've been through so much together!" Klaus said. 

"Vanya was there for me when I died." 

"I was there for you the _entire time_ you were dead!" 

"Yes, but she was calmer about it." 

"Fine, be that way. When you _actually_ die, I'm not going to put a good word in with God for you," Klaus said, then stuck out his tongue at Ben. 

"How cruel," Ben said flatly. 

Things went like that for a while, with Ben and Klaus sniping at each other and the rest of them putting in their two cents while they waited. The other Avengers showed up one by one, with Tony being the last to come in. 

Diego and Klaus were the only ones sitting, so when Steve announced, "Dinner's ready," the rest of their siblings immediately quieted and sat down. It didn't escape Diego's notice that Five took the chair on his other side even though he had to walk around the table to reach it, and it didn't escape the Avengers' notice at how silent they went. They'd all reacted like they were back at the Academy. No talking, find your seat immediately. 

There was several seconds of quiet. 

Klaus laughed. "Wow, we all fall right back in line, don't we? Old man's been dead for years, and we act like he's still here." 

"Old habits," Luther muttered. He'd finally come around to disliking Reginald, but he'd still spent all those extra years alone with him, following his orders without question. 

Allison put a hand on his arm to comfort him, and he shot her a weak smile. 

"So uh," Steve said, starting to spoon out what looked like a soup into bowls, "you guys had mentioned that you used to be a crime fighting group, right?" 

"Yes, but it's been... a little bit since we've done anything," Luther answered. Years for some of them, never for Vanya, and there was always the question if any of them even wanted to anymore. Diego knew that he did, and he was pretty sure that Luther was the same. He didn't know about anyone else's feelings on the matter. 

Steve set down the ladle and served bowls to them first, skipping past the members of the Avengers for the moment. He went back to the stove. "We were thinking that if any of you wanted to do that in our world, we should know what you're capable of. We had plans to go to the gym tomorrow, so you're welcome to join." 

Five narrowed his eyes at his back suspiciously. "Hm." 

"Nothing strenuous," Steve continued, like he hadn't heard anything, "and nothing to do with your powers. Just endurance and strength, and maybe some sparring, if you want. This isn't an all-or-nothing offer, either. Each of you can decide for yourself." 

"How generous," Five said flatly. 

"Five, you can just say no," Vanya said, her voice low like it was a secret even though everyone could hear them. 

"I could, but it would ignore the part where he's trying to separate us by implying that none of us need to listen to what we decided as a group because we can 'make decisions for ourselves'." 

Diego sighed and picked up his spoon. The plan had been to wait for everyone to be served before he started to eat, but if this was the way dinner was starting, he wasn't going to bet on it getting better. Klaus, of course, had started eating as soon as the bowl was in front of him, possibly just as a reminder to himself that Reginald wasn't glaring down at them anymore. 

"That's not what Steve meant," Natasha said. 

"Isn't it? Then what did he mean?" 

"Exactly what he said: that not all of you have to agree for one of you to try it." 

Five gave a short hum, clearly not believing her. 

"We know that you don't trust us," Sam said, "but we're not out to get you. We really are trying to help, and make all of you comfortable in our world. Tony talked to Doctor Foster, and she said that she'd look into it, but the chances of getting you home aren't great. For now, we all agreed to live together, so I think you should know that we are making an effort and not trying to trick you. We're trying to be honest." 

Five's eyes cut to Clint. "Honest?" 

"Yes," Steve said. He finished ladling out soup and handed out the rest of the bowls before taking his own seat. "I really didn't mean anything deeper by it." 

"Fine," Five said, neither accepting nor denying that. "What kind of surveillance do you have on us?" 

Steve blinked, but Five was looking at Clint. 

"Diego got hurt earlier, and you knew about it before you could have. He said that you claimed to have heard it, but I saw you running past, and you went straight to his room like you already knew something was wrong." 

The Avengers were tense-- except for Natasha and Bucky, who looked practiced in their relaxation. Clint glanced at Tony, who said, "That's my fault. Do you know what an AI is?" 

They all shook their heads. 

"It stands for artificial intelligence. It's a computer." 

"Like a robot?" Ben asked. 

"Sort of," Tony said, making a face. It was pretty clear that he thought there was a vast difference between a robot and an artificial intelligence computer, but it's not like any of them had a better frame of reference for what he was talking about. 

"Like Mom?" Vanya asked. 

"It sounds that way," Allison said. 

"That sounds interesting, and I definitely want to hear more on that later, but I don't know your mother, so I couldn't really say one way or the other. Point is, the tower is run by my AI, Jarvis. Jarvis, unmute. You might as well say hello, buddy." 

A voice that seemed to come from nowhere said, "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintances." 

Diego gripped his spoon tighter, prepared to throw it, but there was no one new in the room. 

"Where is he?" Luther asked, similarly looking around and not seeing anyone. 

"Everywhere," Tony said. "He's a computer; he's hardwired into this place. He takes care of security, and yes, there are cameras everywhere. No one accesses those unless something goes wrong, not even us. He was on mute around all of you so that he wouldn't freak you out. We agreed not to tell you because we didn't want you to think we were spying on you or some shit." 

"Even though that's exactly what you were doing," Five said coldly. 

"No, we weren't. Jarvis monitors everything in case there's an emergency, but we're not spying on you. When Diego got injured, he told us. Clint was closest, so he went. We don't know any specifics; Jarvis didn't tell us, and we knew that checking without your permission would be a mistake." 

"Hm." 

"He's also a butler, if that makes you feel any better. He helps me with my projects in the workshop. He can tell you where someone else in the tower is, if you ask." 

"I had concerns about it when I first moved in," Bucky said, "but Jarvis isn't in place to spy on any of us." 

"I'm glad that you finally think so," Jarvis said, sounding pleased. 

"So he's like Mom, but without a body," Diego said around a chunk of potato. "I can't say that bothers me too much." 

"Of course you'd think that," Five hissed, clearly upset with him. 

"Well yeah," Vanya said, "it helped him when he was hurt. It- yeah, it worries me a little, but it sounds like it's not that bad." 

"Even if it was that bad, it's not like we haven't dealt with worse," Allison added. "Dad kept footage of us ever since we were kids, even when we were sleeping, and we _know_ that he rewatched some of those. This sounds pretty harmless in comparison." 

"Everything sounds harmless compared to Dad," Luther muttered, looking into his soup like it held the answers to the universe. 

"That's the spirit," Klaus said, shooting him two thumbs up, only he forgot to put his spoon down first, so he made a small mess on the table. "Whoops." 

"You should've told us earlier," Five said. 

"You're right, we should have," Steve agreed. "But it was my decision, and at the time, I thought it was the right one. If that makes you trust me less, there's nothing I can do about it except say that I'm sorry. There's a lot of technology in our world that you aren't familiar with, and I thought breaking it to you slowly was the best option we had. It won't happen again." 

"Hm. It won't?" 

"No." 

Five continued to stare at him. "How old are you? You were born before Tony, but you're younger than him." 

Diego hadn't caught that detail, but he wasn't surprised that Five had. Was competence hot? Damn it. This was way more about his own preferences than he ever wanted to know. He kept eating; he'd probably be able to leave early, if he wanted to. 

"You're very observant," Natasha said. 

Not taking his eyes off Steve, Five said, "So are you." 

"I was born in 1918," Steve said. "I was unconscious for seventy years. Got found last year and woken up. I'm not even thirty." 

"We used to be the same age," Bucky said. 

"How old are you, then?" Ben asked. 

"Something like fifty." 

"How'd that happen?" 

"Cryogenics. Natasha's pretty old, too," he added, slanting a look in her direction. 

"Older than the rest of you geezers," she said with a smirk. 

"There are a lot of organizations that want to use super-powered individuals to further their own goals, without any concern for the people they're controlling," Sam said. "Some of us don't have the best history, but it's why Steve wanted for all of you to stay with us. We know that you don't have any reason to trust us, but we really are trying to keep you safe." 

"Not to mention that you're from an entirely different universe," Natasha said. "We don't know what your world is like compared to ours. We don't know what you've been through, so we've been erring on the side of caution for what we tell you." 

"You could've asked," Luther said. 

"I think Five has made it quite clear that he wouldn't answer," she replied. 

"I'm trying to keep my family safe; I'm not going to apologize for that." 

Why was it that Five was always on the lookout for a fight? Diego wouldn't be surprised if he got into fist fights when none of them were looking. He pushed Five's bowl closer to him and said, "You should eat." 

Five's jaw worked. He had the sort of look that meant he wanted to remind them that he wasn't a kid, but he didn't want to say something like that in front of the Avengers. 

"Unless you're planning on eating something else. Even you have to eat to survive." Diego picked up Five's untouched spoon and poked him in the hand with it. 

Five snatched it from him, looking like he wanted to dig it into Diego's hand but he didn't-- frankly, he appreciated Five's restraint. 

Vanya cleared her throat uncomfortably, scraping her spoon against the bottom of the bowl. "It might be nice to get some physical training." 

"But-" Allison started to say, confused. They'd all had physical training, no matter their power. Luther and Diego had had more extensive training and goals because of the nature of their powers, but the rest of them had been required to know hand to hand as well. Then she remembered that Vanya had never been a part of their training sessions. "Oh." 

"There wasn't a whole lot of exercise to be had in the orchestra, so..." she trailed off and shrugged. 

Five took a very hesitant bite. He chewed slowly, like he was expecting to find a hunk of metal stuck in it. Diego should have better priorities then watching the way his jaw worked, but it wasn't his fault that Five had been born with killer bone structure. 

"I don't know about that," Klaus said thoughtfully. "Your arms should be pretty built from having to hold it up the entire time." 

"Yeah, I don't think that's what she meant," Ben said. 

"How would you know? You don't know anything." 

"I know more than you." 

"Completely untrue. The scurrilous lies that come from the youths today, I say." 

"You don't even know what scurrilous means." 

"Did I use it wrong?" 

"Well, not technically, but-" 

"Then you have no proof! Vanya, tell him that your arms are totally buff from playing." 

"Uh, I think 'buff' might be an overexaggeration," Vanya said. 

"See? She's totally built." 

"Buff arms or not," Allison interrupted, "I think you coming down with us is a great idea." She turned to Vanya as she said it, smiling. 

"Us?" Diego asked, using this as a chance to take his eyes off Five.

"Well, I was planning on going, and I figured Luther would too," she said. 

"I was," Luther said. His bowl was empty, so he had his hands folded in his lap. 

"There's more on the stove, if you want it," Steve said. 

Luther hesitated, probably thinking about how much they were willing to give away, but ultimately, there was no point in saying no when he _did_ need more food. "Thank you." 

"I'm in," Ben said happily. He seemed happy about just about everything, but since he'd spent over a decade not being able to do anything but talk to Klaus, that made sense. 

"I'm not," Klaus said. "No way, no how, it sounds like hell. I'll be up here getting pretty while you all suffer." 

"Diego and Five haven't agreed, so it wouldn't be _all_ of us," Allison pointed out. 

"Right, but do you really think that Diego's going to say no?" 

Five preemptively glared at Diego. 

"What? I didn't say anything," Diego said. 

"You're injured," Five said flatly, as if Diego had just agreed to go. Klaus was right though, in that he'd been planning on going. 

"He said it would be _tomorrow_. Besides, I'm bored. All I've had to do so far is fucking up-" he gestured to his head and the array of butterfly bandages "-and reading a shit translation of The Odyssey. And wondering how the hell I let you talk me into getting a button up shirt that I'm never going to wear. We're not allowed to leave; I need something to do or I'm going to turn into a dumb version of you and start writing on the walls." 

"Ignoring- well, pretty much everything else you said," Tony said, "you are allowed to leave the Tower. For safety reasons, you'd have to have an Avenger with you, but you guys aren't on house arrest." 

"We're just on babysitting duty. Greeaaat," Diego drawled. Not once had he liked someone looking after him so closely, and it only got worse after the asylum. 

"If some strangers showed up at your home, would you let them walk around unsupervised?" Bucky asked. 

"People show up at my place and I kicked them out." 

"You didn't kick me out," Five said. He'd been real fucking drunk, so it wasn't altogether surprising that he didn't remember that it had been Diego's idea to bring him there in the first place. 

"You're not a stranger." 

"You kicked me out," Luther said. 

"You had accused me of killing our father! Of course I was going to kick you out." 

"You what?" Klaus asked. "Christ, Luther. I know that you had thought it was one of us in the beginning, but Diego? Seriously? Killing the old man would've required seeing him first, and no way was Diego ever going to do that." 

"Yeah," Diego said dryly, "thanks, Klaus. Anyways, thanks, I'll remember the not-leaving-alone rule in the future. Not that I even know what I'd do here." 

"Find a better translation?" Ben suggested. 

"Or just get the original," Vanya said. 

"I thought the original was in Ancient Greek," Clint said. 

"It is." 

Clint blinked. "O...kay. You can read Ancient Greek?" 

"We all can," Diego said. His hand was starting to burn from all the cuts on it, but A. he'd dealt with worse and B. he was almost done eating, anyways. He glanced at Five's bowl and saw that he was almost done too. Damn, he could really put food away when he put his mind to it-- probably a remnant of his apocalypse life. 

Allison picked up the conversation then, asking the Avengers about the current state of Hollywood movies. 

Diego ended up staying the entire time, only standing when everyone else started to, if only because he didn't know what he'd do with the extra time. He moved to the sink automatically and started getting ready to dishes. He was nudged out of the way by Five, who was scowling at Diego as he rolled up his sleeves-- of course the asshole could do it one-handed. Diego had seen Five's wrists a hundred times, and he'd never thought about it. Why would he? They were just wrists. Everyone had them. The most Diego had focused on wrists before was when he was learning the right angle to most efficiently break bones. He'd never looked at them and had his throat go dry. 

This was stupid. He was looking at Five rolling up his sleeves, and it got him going. Being a teenager was fucking miserable. He should jerk off tonight, and then he'd be fine, because god, thinking like this was _not_ sustainable. 

"You don't have to do that, you know," Sam said. 

"You guys cooked," was all Diego said in response. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam shrug. 

"What part of injured are you not getting?" Five asked, pushing him in front of the other sink with his hip. 

"You didn't care half this much when I got stabbed." 

"I didn't hear you complaining about the state of your caretaking, at the time." 

"You still hate Lila?" 

Five didn't have to verbally respond to that and stuck his hands in the soapy water. 

Diego rolled his eyes. "With the Handler for a mother, it's a wonder she turned out as good as she did." 

"I don't think drugging and kidnapping you count as 'good'." 

"Because you're such a paragon of healthy relationships," Diego muttered. 

"Better than you." 

Five passed him a soapy bowl, and Diego rinsed it off. There were suds clinging to his hands and up his arms. It shouldn't have caught his attention. It was just soap. Five was just washing dishes; there was nothing sexy about that, but as Diego ran water over the bowl he'd been handed, he couldn't help but try and catch every detail out of the corner of his eye. Was Five annoyed by the soap? Did he hate that he was doing this and the only thing that made him stay was the erroneous belief that Diego was going to hurt himself if he did it? Or was Five completely indifferent, like he looked? He put his hands back in the sink, and Diego noticed that the water line went higher on his arm than it had the first time. 

He went to put the bowl down, but Vanya was there with a dry towel and a hesitant smile. Diego smiled back automatically, hoping that she hadn't noticed how much he was staring at Five, and they fell into a rhythm. 

"Can Jarvis talk to us now?" Diego wondered aloud. 

"I can," Jarvis answered. 

"Why don't you have a body?" 

"I fail to see what I would want with one." 

"To interact with everyone?" Diego suggested. 

"I like the way I interact with everyone now. I think I would feel constricted by having a physical form," Jarvis said. 

That was fair. He wasn't like Mom, who had a body but wasn't given the freedom to leave; she'd liked her wall of art, but she hadn't even been allowed to step into the backyard. Jarvis had his run of the Tower, but there was no telling if that was where it stopped. He’d try to learn more about it later. "Alright." 

"But I thank you for your concern." 

It was a good thing that Diego didn't blush anymore, because having that tacked on only served to make him embarrassed. 

They finished dishes, and Vanya left to, "Save Klaus from Ben smacking him again," leaving Five and Diego alone. 

"I get that you're suspicious of the Avengers," Diego said, "but you didn't have to be so aggressive about it. They're not the Commission." 

"You don't know that for sure. You're _hoping_ that they're nothing like the Commission." 

"They saved us." 

"And the Commission saved me; it's not an accurate indication of intent." 

"Full offense Five, but do any of them act like the Handler? It was clear that she was manipulating people, and none of them are like that." 

"Not that you've noticed," Five said. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Natasha isn't half as innocent as she wants to pretend." 

"Sam said that some of them have bad histories," Diego pointed out. 

"A bad history that conveniently lets her spy on us now." 

"Why are you so convinced that everyone in the world is trying to hurt you?" 

Five looked over at him and leaned his hip against the counter. "Why are you so convinced that they _don't_ want to hurt you?" 

"Because I don't mean anything to them!" 

"Exactly. Cruelty born of hatred can be more painful, but it's just as destructive as the people that don't think of you like a person to be respected." 

"That's not what I meant. There are good people in the world, not just bad, you know," Diego said, mirroring Five's position by leaning against the counter and folding his arms over his chest. 

"Your insistence on seeing the good in people is disturbing." 

"The Avengers haven't done anything-" 

"I meant Lila. In the end, she changed her mind, but you had no way of knowing if it would turn out that way. It wasn't an educated guess; it was a gamble. If you keep gambling, you're going to lose." 

Diego was quiet for a moment, thinking. "Reginald tried to teach us that everyone in the world was terrible. As far as I'm concerned, giving them a chance means spitting in his face." 

"You'd really risk your life for the chance to prove a dead man wrong? You think you're completely separated from what he wanted, but he's still influencing your decisions." 

Diego ground his teeth together. "You're not any better." 

Five narrowed his eyes, but Diego pushed himself from the counter and left. 

He made it out of the room, and Five warped right next to him, falling into step like he'd always been there. 

"You're staying with me tonight," Five said. 

"Anyone ever tell you you have control issues? I have a cut on my head; I'm not dying." 

"I don't trust you not to make it worse." 

Diego glanced at him, saw the way Five was determinedly staring forward, and figured this was Five's way of saying that he didn't want to sleep alone. Last night, he'd shown up in Diego's room to try and get his help with something, but when he'd refused, it had made sense to stay with him rather than leave-- that wouldn't work a second time. "If it'll stop you from panicking, fine, but I still think you're being overprotective." 

* * *

Diego never should've agreed to this. 

He had the body of a teenager, and he'd been checking Five out nonstop since they got here. Agreeing to sleep in the same bed as him before he was tired had been setting himself up to fail, and fail he did. 

He was pretty sure he'd been laying here for an hour and a half, trying unsuccessfully to get his mind off who he was in bed with. In his defense, he'd expected for Five to shove him to the side further from the door so that he couldn't sneak out. What he _hadn't_ expected was for Five to throw an arm over him. Five had started out keeping some space, but after he fell asleep, he contracted to bring his arm and his body closer. Instead of that bringing his arm off of Diego, it brought the rest of his body closer, so that Five's chest was pressed against his back. Being able to feel his heartbeat wasn't good for Diego's nerves. 

It was like, all of a sudden, he understood period piece romances. Allison had starred in one once, and Diego kind of hadn't understood. The movie had built up to it well, blah blah, but he hadn't gotten it. What was the appeal of pressing your lips to someone's wrist when you could just kiss them? Her love interest in that movie had put more effort into bringing her hand up to his mouth than it would've taken to just lean forward three inches. 

Diego spent about an hour of his hour and a half of wakefulness thinking about his attraction to Five. He hadn't seen him and gone 'yeah, I want my dick in that'. He'd thought about how focused his glare was. He'd spent an unnerving amount of time thinking about his jaw and wanting to put his lips at the hinge just to feel it move. When they'd been buying clothes, he'd gotten hot and bothered about Five _wearing_ clothes. Granted he'd also seen his shirt unbuttoned and gotten thoroughly distracted, but the point was that more clothes shouldn't have meant anything. Hell, earlier in the kitchen, he'd seen Five roll up his sleeves and just about swooned. The bump of his wrist being exposed had done far more to how fast his heart was beating than it should have. 

His plan had been to get off so that he'd be back to normal by tomorrow, but then Five had strong-armed him into agreeing to stay with him tonight, and that was no longer an option. Well. He could. It would just be a dumb idea. He'd have to go to the bathroom for it, and this morning had proven that Five would wake up at the drop of a pin. It was a good instinct to have, but right now, it was working against Diego, so he didn't appreciate it. Maybe he could go to the bathroom and wait until Five went back to sleep. Of course, that was working under the assumption that Five _would_ go back to sleep, and he wasn't too sure about that. 

He was going to have to suffer through to tomorrow night, and _then_ hope that it worked. 

This was hell. It could be worse, but it was still hell. Just like, the first circle of hell and not the third. The third would be if Five knew where his head was at and where his hormones were aimed. The ninth would be reserved for if he was feeling this way, Five knew about it, and also they were back at the Academy, firmly under Reginald's thumb. 

So yeah. It could be worse, but it would be difficult to get in that position. 

To make him feel worse, he _still_ couldn't get to sleep. He was tired, but not the kind of tired that meant he was about to fall asleep. 

He shifted, wishing he could roll over without A. making his situation worse and B. waking Five up. Five's arm tightened, then relaxed, and Diego worried that he'd woken him up anyways. 

"Are y' not asleep?" Five mumbled. 

Damn it. How light of a sleeper did he need to be? Really, this was ridiculous. 

"Not tired enough," he said, keeping his voice low so that he didn't wake him up more. 

"How're you not tired?" 

"I don't know." 

Five huffed. It should've just been annoying, but it blew air across the back of his neck, and he shivered without meaning to. Five stilled; he'd noticed. 

Neither of them said anything. 

Diego swallowed, hoping that Five would just fall back asleep and they could forget that this ever happened. 

Enough time passed that he started to think it had a real chance of happening, but that was around the time that Five very slowly and deliberately pressed his lips to the back of his neck. Diego had thought that before had been as tense as he could possibly get, but his body's reaction to Five kissing his neck proved him wrong. He felt as rigid as a fucking statue. 

"This is why you couldn't sleep," Five said quietly. It wasn't a question, so Diego didn't have to figure out if he should lie or not. He shifted, pushing himself up enough that this time, he kissed the side of Diego's neck, where he was tingly and sensitive. 

He took a sharp, surprised breath in. "What the hell are you doing?" 

Five paused. "Do you want me to stop?" 

The answer was a resounding no, but it's not like Five had been looking at him the same way he'd been looking at Five. He swallowed thickly. He didn't know why Five wanted this-- or if he even did-- and he wasn't about to put himself out there if Five wasn't going to meet him halfway. 

"Sorry," Five muttered. He laid back down and withdrew his arm, rolling over so that their backs were facing one another. 

Somehow, Diego fell asleep after that. It wasn't really easier than before, but he was determined not to get up and make the situation out to be something more than it was. 

This was nothing. Nothing to get upset about, and certainly nothing to get out of bed for. Trying to go to his room now would be making more of this than it was, so he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep. His mind was too busy replaying the sensation of Five holding him and pressing kisses to his neck for it to work, but eventually, with him thinking of nothing else and not moving, he fell asleep.


	5. The Gym

Five was already out of bed when Diego woke up this time, but he hadn't been for long; he was still getting dressed. 

Diego rolled out of bed. Literally. He rolled over to the edge and tried to get his feet under him, but he almost didn't do it in time and stumbled. 

Five raised an eyebrow. 

"Shut up," Diego muttered, reaching his arms over his head to stretch. "What time is it?" 

"Five-thirty." 

"In the morning? What the hell are you doing up at five-thirty in the morning?" 

"You're up, too," Five pointed out. 

"Yeah, because I thought you'd get up at a normal, human time. Jesus christ, man." He rubbed his hands over his face, yawning. "I'm gonna go change," he said, taking a couple steps towards the door. 

"Wait," Five said, and Diego stopped, looking over at him. "Let me get those bandages off." 

Oh. That was... surprisingly thoughtful. "Thanks." 

Five walked over to the bathroom and flipped the lightswitch. 

Diego followed him, leaning against the counter. He was taller than Five, but only by a little. He had to tilt his head to give Five a good angle. 

"Looks like it healed well," Five said, and then his hands were on Diego's head. One of them was stabilizing his neck, and the other was peeling off the bandages and throwing them in the trash. The hand that he had on Diego's neck was warm. More warm than it should've been. It felt too hot, almost, like touching a mug with fresh tea in it. Diego would lean further into it if he could, but he was pretty much stuck in this position for now. 

It wouldn't have been a very good idea anyways. 

Five's fingers skimmed across the short buzz of hair as he reached for the next bandage. There was a slight pinch and tug as each half was removed, but Five was careful and methodical as he worked, lending it an almost soothing rhythm. 

"How's your hand?" 

Diego was curious about Five's sudden gentleness, but he wasn't going to mention it. He brought his hand up and flexed his fingers experimentally. "Can't even tell it was hurt." There might be new scars to mix in with the rest, but they were faint, and there were too many white marks on his hands for him to be able to tell the difference between old and new. The cut on his palm was long since gone; it hadn’t been deep. 

"Mm." A little bit later, Five ghosted his fingers across Diego's head, above the injury. It was an unnecessary touch, and completely unlike Five. From the corner of his eye, Diego could seem the almost peaceful expression on his face-- like taking care of someone calmed him. He stepped away a second later. "Done." 

"Thanks." Diego prodded at his head, testing. It ached a little, but by the end of the day, he wouldn't be feeling anything from it. With that settled, he left the bathroom and headed over to his room. He didn't hear anything from Five as he went; he didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

Now that he'd had some time to sleep on it and he was alone, he _really_ didn't know what last night had been about. Since when did Five care about that sort of thing? Maybe the hormones had gotten to him, too. Diego could've just said, "It's physical, right?" and then he wouldn't be worrying about it now. Of course, that only would've worked if Five had actually answered the question, which wasn't a guarantee. If he remembered correctly, he'd asked Five what he was doing, and all Five had done was ask if he should stop. He hadn't bothered to say what he was doing-- possibly because he'd thought it was too obvious to say aloud. 

Dealing with Five was a pain in the ass, and getting answers from him was impossible. 

Diego distracted himself from thinking about it as he changed by noting the changes to his body. Unlike yesterday, thinking about it didn't make his skin crawl. He wasn't about to spar in this body before he knew what kind of weight he could pull, but it couldn't hurt to get an idea of where his body was. He hoped they went to the gym before lunch. Working out after lunch when he wasn't training for a fight was a pain. It was a pain when he _was_ training for a fight, but at least then he had additional motivation to get it done. 

This body was too fucking scrawny. Not as bad as Klaus, but still not what Diego had gotten used to, and damn it, he'd _worked_ to keep his muscle mass high. If his reflexes had suffered as well, he was going to be pissed. 

He glanced in the bathroom, just to see. They'd swept up the mess, obviously. The rest of the mirror that had still remained attached to the wall had been taken down, and the blood he'd spattered on the sink was gone as well. The toothbrush holder was also missing, as was the toothbrush he'd been using. In its place, there was a new one, still in the package, set out on the counter for him to see. He'd been planning on skipping this morning, but if he had it, he might as well use it. He ripped open the package and tossed it in the trash-- with a new bag in it, since they apparently hadn't taken any chances with there being leftover bits of the mirror. The mirror itself hadn't been replaced, but he didn't expect for that to happen for a long time. Without the mirror, he couldn't see how his head had healed; he'd been too distracted by Five to get a good look before. 

Five-thirty. God. What had Five been thinking? He didn't bother to guess. If he couldn't figure out last night, he had no hope of figuring out his sleep schedule. 

Diego tapped the new toothbrush against the edge of the sink to get the excess water off and set it down with the bristles facing up, then left. He might as well eat something while he was up, and like he'd said at dinner last night, he didn't really have anything to occupy his attention. 

Five was leaving his room as Diego passed by, and silently, they walked to the kitchen. Five went straight for the coffee maker. He had to climb on the counter to reach the cupboard above the fridge, but it didn't seem to bother him like it had before. Maybe it was just because Diego was the only one here, and he didn't give a shit. 

Diego opened the fridge and bent down to look at the contents. There were eggs, but he only ate those when he was in a pinch on protein. The soup Steve had made last night had had enough protein that he didn't need more for breakfast. There was probably cereal around here somewhere, but it was early enough that he could cook something. "Mr. Jarvis, are you awake?" 

"I'm always awake," Jarvis said. "And it's just Jarvis, no 'mister'. What can I do for you?" 

"Where's the pantry in this place?" 

"On your left." 

"Which door?" He hadn't gone looking for himself because there were three different doors. 

"All of them are pantries. If you tell me what item you are looking for, I could direct you to it?" 

"I was wanting to make pancakes," Diego said, heading that direction and opening the first door. "So you know, flour, baking powder, sugar, that sort of thing." 

"Of course. I believe all the ingredients you require will be in the next pantry." 

Diego closed the door to the first one and moved over. "Thanks." He heard Five start the coffee. "Do you want chocolate chips or fruit, Five?" 

"What?" 

Diego paused in reaching for the flour to glance at him. "In your pancakes. Do you want chocolate chips or blueberries? I saw some in the fridge." 

"Does it matter?" 

"Uh, yeah. I'm not putting both in, and if you don't pick, I will, and you'll have to deal with it." Besides, blueberries could be put in after you poured the pancake, but chocolate chips worked best if you mixed them in with the batter. Or at least, that's what Mom had told him while she was teaching him when he'd asked what difference it made. 

"Hmph." 

Diego rolled his eyes. Fine, he was going to suffer with blueberries. Five should be happy that he'd offered chocolate chips at all. Although, knowing Five, he was going to refuse to eat anything and like, claim that he could live off of coffee, or something. Diego was going to shove a fluffy pancake with a blueberry smile down his throat, if he had to. He carried his armful of ingredients over to the counter, then went back for the syrup. 

Only he couldn't find it. 

The pantry was stuffed full, but he didn't know if it was even in this pantry. "Hey Jarvis?" 

"Yes?" 

"Do you know where the syrup is?" 

"It's in the cabinet on the right of refrigerator, behind the peanut butter." 

"Thanks." He closed the pantry door-- seriously, what did they need three of them for?-- and walked over to the cabinet. 

"You are quite welcome." 

Diego couldn't deny that it bothered him to talk to Jarvis but not be able to look at him and know how bothered he was by all of these requests, but he also couldn't talk to him about it with Five in the room. Like the rest of their siblings, Five thought that he had put too much faith in Mom's ability to be her own person. As far as Diego was concerned, Jarvis was in the same boat until he proved otherwise. Jarvis had said that he didn’t want a body, so it was a little different. Tony didn’t remind him of Reginald, but he wasn’t going to rely on that alone. 

Five was sitting on the counter in front of the cupboard where the syrup was, and it didn't look like he was willing to neither move nor grab it for him. Diego didn't even bother to ask if he was going to move; he just reached around him and opened the cupboard door. Because Five wasn't being accommodating, he could only open it enough to stick his hand in. Then he had to sort of lean to peer inside to make sure he grabbed the right bottle. As he looked for it, his arm brushed against Five's head, more catching his hair than anything else. The different strands tickled his arm, and neither of them moved away like they normally would have. Casual touches weren't exactly something they had a lot of experience with. 

It was only after he had wiggled the syrup out of the cabinet and put it on the table that he realized he could've waited until Five moved off the counter to grab it-- it's not like he needed the syrup while he made the pancakes, after all. It looked like he'd gone out of his way to get them close together, and that's not what he'd meant to do. He didn't mean to push Five; pushing Five normally ended disastrously for whoever was doing it. Five was like a goddamn feral cat, ready to scratch at anything that came close, and Diego was acting like he could just scratch him behind the ears and everything would be fine. 

But Five _didn't_ pull away, and he hadn't moved, and he hadn't said anything at all about Diego getting in his space. Maybe he was less feral and more like a normal cat. 

It was too early in the day to think about that. 

He knew the recipe for pancakes well, so he was able to start putting it together from memory. He grabbed the blueberries from the fridge and tossed them up on the counter so it landed next to the bowl of batter, then started looking for a pan. "How many fucking pots do they need," he muttered, having opened one door and only seen twenty different pots. 

"For someone that complained about being up this early, you sure are active," Five said. 

"If I'm up, there's no point in slogging around." 

"Hm." 

"You disagree?" 

Five shrugged. He was still waiting for his coffee to be done brewing. 

"Whatever. I was going to see if one of the Avengers would show us how to watch movies here, because apparently you don't have to go to theaters for that." 

"Sounds interesting," Five said blandly. 

"You're a regular ray of sunshine," Diego replied. He pulled out a large pan and set it on the stove. "What's your grand plan for the day?" he asked as he figured out how to turn it on. There was a limit to how much good technology would do, and he felt like this stove had long since passed it. He got it on though, and that was all he really cared about. 

He didn't answer. Diego glanced at him, but then he saw that Five was choosing a mug and figured there was no point in asking again. He set it down then slid off his perch on the counter and opened the fridge. 

Diego knew that he shouldn't stare, so he kept his eyes firmly on the pan and started pouring batter in. As the pan heated, he started looking for a spatula. His priorities this morning were, perhaps, a little fucked. He'd gotten syrup before he'd gotten a spatula. 

The fridge door closed, and he saw Five pour cream into his cup. 

"Branching out from your pure black coffee?" 

"Exploring. There wasn't cream in the apocalypse." 

"Well if you hate it, I'll drink the rest of the cup for you." Not that Diego really liked coffee, but he also didn't want to listen to Five bitch about the taste all morning when he could just throw it back and not have to worry. 

Five made a noise of acknowledgement. He picked up the pot and poured some coffee in. Because he was a little masochist, he brought it up to his lips and blew on it before taking a sip instead of waiting a few minutes for it to cool. He paused, then took another sip. 

"Not bad?" Diego asked, putting the blueberries in. He made the eyes and smile without thinking about it, even though Five would probably have been more likely to eat it if he hadn't decorated it. Whatever. He'd have to deal, because Diego wasn't making all these pancakes just for them to go to waste. 

"Satisfactory," Five said. 

"'Satisfactory', god, man. You can say you like it." 

"If I thought that I did like it, I would say it. All I know for sure is that I don't hate it." 

"I'm happy for you," Diego said dryly. "I'll add it to the list of things Five Doesn't Hate. It'll be number eight, after all of us and margaritas." 

"A rather bold of assumption on your part that I don't hate any of our siblings." 

"And who would you hate? Can't be Vanya, and you never had a problem with Luther." 

"Klaus is the obvious answer." 

"He doesn't annoy you as much as he annoys the rest of us. You've always been pretty unruffled by his weird ass shit. And no one hates Ben, so it can't be him. That leaves me and Allison, and let's face it, no one hates her either. And here I thought we were friends," Diego said with a lofty tone, shaking his head. 

The first pancake always took the longest. Mom had told him that if he just let the pan heat first, he wouldn't have to wait so long for the first pancake to be done, but he always forgot about the pan until the batter was done-- and there was no point in waiting for the pan to heat while empty when the batter was ready. 

Five snorted. 

"What?" 

"You are the only sibling I would willingly share a bed with, yet you think you're the obvious answer for who I like least." 

"Maybe it's because I'm warm," Diego quipped, but inwardly, his stomach was light with unfounded hope. Hope for what, exactly? Sleeping with a partner was always better than sleeping alone, but after the disaster that was last night, he had no reason to want to continue sharing a bed with Five. Having hope for anything to do with him right now didn’t make sense. It's not like he wanted to date Five.

...Fuck. Oh _hell_ no. No, no way was he doing that. Being stupidly attracted to him was one thing-- a thing that he could explain away by a combination of teenage hormones and Five objectively being the most attractive of them-- but wanting to date him was a whole other mess, and it wasn't one he was willing to deal with. Nope, he wasn't doing this. For starters, Five would never _agree_ to date him, so that would save him a little bit of a headache, but Diego straight out refused to deal with the feelings that caused this in the first place. Sexual attraction was fine; he could deal with that. Have a little quality alone time, and he'd be set. That's all this was, he told himself firmly, flipping the pancake. It was strong sexual attraction, and it felt like it might be romantic because he was a teenager and therefore in a body that had never had sex. He remembered the first guy that he'd had a crush on, and because it had been the first time, he'd thought he was in love. This was like that. Nothing to worry about, nothing at all. 

"Who do you like least?" Five asked. 

"What?" 

"Of our siblings. Surely if you brought it up, you have an answer." 

"I'm pretty sure you're the one that brought it up, and then you never answered. Besides, even though most of them are pains in the ass, I love all of our siblings." 

"Of course you do, but that doesn't mean you _like_ all of them equally," Five said, completely ignoring Diego pointing out that he hadn't given an answer of his own. 

"I'll tell you if you tell me yours first." 

"Klaus," Five said. "No sense of personal space." 

He'd answered that a lot easier than Diego had thought he would. Although, Five had sort of implied that his answer would be Klaus by saying he was the obvious choice, but Diego had thought that was Five deflecting, not answering. "Allison. I never knew how to talk to her. Still don't." 

"But you know how to talk to Klaus?" 

"Klaus is easy to deal with. You let him ramble and cut in when he starts talking about getting high." 

"Isn't that what he always talks about?" 

"Not all the time, no, but he can match you in deflection. You ever tried to get a straight answer out of him? You ask if he's okay, and you get a half hour story of an orgy he was supposedly a part of." 

"Supposedly?" 

"I think he started making shit up to see if I was still listening." He opened a cupboard on the other side of the stove, following the logical conclusion that the dishes were kept over here. Happy to be proven right for once, he pulled down two plates and flipped the pancake on one. He held it out to Five, who stared at it blankly, like he didn't know what he was expected to do with it. "This one's yours." 

"Why?" 

"Because I'm not going to sit down to eat when I still have pancakes to make, and you need to eat." 

"Can't you eat and cook?" 

"What's the point in me eating when the only other person here hasn't been served?" 

"Grace really rubbed off on you," Five said, putting his hand under the plate and looking a little thrown. 

"Yep, now go eat." With his hand no longer on the plate, he pat Five on the back, nudging him towards the table. 

Diego poured another pancake down and waited. In between another pancake for Five and the first one for himself, Steve and Bucky came in. 

"Hey, we thought we heard someone in here," Steve said. "You guys are up early." 

"I'm up because he's up," Diego answered. "You want pancakes?" 

"Sure," Bucky said. 

"Blueberries or plain?" 

"Whichever is easier for you," Steve said. 

"Tossing blueberries in the pan isn't exactly hard work. Which do you want?" 

A pause, then Bucky said, "I'll take blueberries, he won't. You want any help?" 

"There's not really help to be given." 

"Why are you two awake?" Five asked. 

"Going for a run," Steve said, poking around in the fridge and coming out with a truly massive container of orange juice. Diego could've sworn that they finished the orange juice yesterday at lunch, but maybe someone had run off to the store to get more when he wasn't paying attention. 

As Steve grabbed the juice, Bucky went and grabbed glasses. "Did you want some?" he asked Diego. 

"Sure." 

Bucky looked at Five and raised an eyebrow questioningly. 

Five shook his head. 

Bucky went over to the table, Steve filled the glasses, and Bucky set one by Diego. "You do them with smiley-faces?" 

"It's the way our mom did it," he said with a shrug. 

"I'm not sure Grace was ever really aware of how to adapt," Five said. "When you went back to the house, she gave you a breakfast like you were still ten." 

Diego had to clench his mouth shut and let several seconds pass before he could even think about responding. "You never liked Mom." 

"She babied us," Five said, which was answer enough. Five had thought that he was too old for Mom's version of taking care of them by the time he was seven. 

"You can think it was coding all you want, but at least she cared." 

Diego didn't need to look at Five to know that he wasn't planning on replying to that. He figured the next word to be spoken would come from either Bucky or Steve to break the silence, but that's not what happened. 

"We should go book shopping today," Five said suddenly. "Since we don't have plans." 

If they were still alone, Diego would point out that Five was the one who hadn't said what his plans were, and Diego had planned to go to the gym with everyone and then watch movies for the rest of the day. But Five had only phrased it that way because they _weren't_ alone, so asking him about it wouldn't get him a good answer. If it were anyone else, Diego would think that offer counted as an apology, but with Five, he had no idea. He still said, "Sure," because watching random movies wasn't exactly something he was hard-pressed to find time for-- it had been his only option since he couldn't go anywhere by himself, and the stuff he wanted to do out of the Tower, he couldn't do with someone shadowing him. 

"Good," Five said, then he got up to refill his coffee. 

"How's your head healing?" Steve asked from the table. 

"Almost done.” He’d felt at it while he was making breakfast. It was a little sensitive, but that would be gone soon. “There will be a scar, but I don't care about that." Rather, the scar had been the entire point. If he had to go back and repeat that day, he wouldn't, but he also couldn't deny that he felt better for the reminder that this was still his body. 

Bucky was still standing next to him, so he saw the way the Avenger paused at his words before taking a closer look at his head. 

Diego couldn't help but shoot him a smirk. "I told you I'd be fine without stitches." 

"You did," Bucky agreed. 

* * *

Diego should be happy that Five made him get a better variety of clothes while they were shopping, otherwise he'd be shit out of luck right now. In his defense, he'd been going for the basics, not an entirely new wardrobe-- which he would've figured out was the right thing to do on his own after enough time. Point is, because of Five's weird, overbearing need to be involved in his siblings' lives to a ridiculous degree, Diego had clothes to work out in, so he wasn't going to complain about it.

A tank top, sweats, and he called it good. The tank top didn't fit the way he'd gotten used to because his shoulders were smaller than they used to be, but he couldn't imagine what Luther was going through. Big guy was probably over the moon-- heh, moon-- to be able to wear normal clothes without anyone staring. 

As he left his room, he caught sight of Vanya outside her door, gripping the handle like she was considering going back in. "Hey." 

She turned. She was in workout clothes too. "Hey." 

"You going down?" 

"Yeah," she said, dropping her hand and catching up with him. 

"Nervous?" 

"Is it that obvious?" Vanya asked, making a face. 

"We aren't sparring; you'll be fine." 

"The rest of you have training. I've gotten a good grip on my powers, but I don't even know how to throw a punch." 

"No offense, but with your powers, why would you want to learn? You're never going to be able to do half as much damage with your body than your powers." 

"Drugs mess with my powers. I know, I know, depending on what they give me, I may not be able to do anything physical, but-" 

"You been talking to Klaus?" Diego asked, because it sounded like she'd been lectured about it before. 

"Yeah. But if it's something light, that can block my powers but not otherwise effect me, I don't want to be useless. The rest of you know how to fight. If you lose your powers, you can still kick ass. I can't do anything." 

"To start: thanks." 

Vanya chuckled. 

"We don't even know what we're doing here. If you don't plan on becoming a hero, then you don't need to bother. You could play professionally like you used to." 

"I guess. I don't know. What are you planning on doing?" 

"What I always do: save lives." 

She laughed again, but it wasn't mocking. "Good career plan. Open to interpretation, so it doesn't weigh you down." 

"Exactly," he said, pushing his knuckles against her shoulder and giving her a light, playful shove. 

She shoved back at him with one hand, and he pretended to stumble. The look she gave him afterwards proved that he wasn't fooling anyone, but he only grinned. 

They walked into the elevator. The doors started to close, but Klaus suddenly ran up and stuck his hand in between the doors, opening them again. He hopped inside; he wasn't wearing exercise clothes, and Diego and Vanya frowned at him. He looked a little wild around the edges, bouncing on the balls of his feet like that. 

Asking if he was on something would only piss him off, so Diego said, "I thought you said you refused to work out." 

"No, I do. Of course I do; this body is already at peak perfection, so why would I change it? I'm just coming along to cheer on two of my favorite siblings. You're both great, I'm proud of you." 

"That would be a lot more believable if you were looking at us." 

"Klaus, you can talk to us," Vanya said. "We're here for you if you need advice or- just somebody to listen." 

"Is it withdrawal?" Diego asked. 

"Hah, god, no, I wish," Klaus said, scratching at the back of his head. "Our beloved landlord just- he's got-" 

"Did he hurt you?" 

Klaus snorted. "Yeah, no. The old man following him around isn't a five star attraction, though." 

"I thought you learned how to control ghosts," Vanya said. "Back in the sixties." 

"Little Five-y said we shouldn't use our powers, and we all agreed. Except for Luther, but I always knew that he had a stick up his ass about one thing or another." 

"Or how about the fact that Luther can't turn it off?" Diego suggested. 

"Sure, that too. I can't banish a ghost without being obvious, so the bastard stays." 

"Is he really that bad?" Vanya asked. 

"He's a lot like our old man," Klaus said, and they all grimaced. 

The doors opened, and they left. Following Steve's instructions, they were able to make it to the gym, and they were the first ones there. 

Klaus skipped over to a weight bench and sat down, crossing his legs. "Woohoo, you can do it! I believe in you." 

"Which one of us?" Diego asked. 

"Both of you. The plural you. It's a thing, I've checked." 

"Thanks, Klaus," Vanya said. 

Diego walked towards the center of the room, where there were mats laid out. "So what do you know?" 

"About fighting?" 

"Fighting, exercise in general." 

"Um. Breathe?" 

Diego nodded, giving an amused smile. "You're not wrong. C'mon, you gotta stretch first or you'll ache all day tomorrow." 

"Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I'd heard that..." Klaus said. 

"Klaus?" Diego said. 

"Yes, dear?" 

"Shut up." 

"So mean to me," Klaus said, pouting. 

It turned out that Vanya needed a little instruction on how to stretch, but Diego had taught people at Al's gym for a little bit, before he'd started being a vigilante and had that taking up all his time. 

Clint showed up before they were done stretching. "Jarvis said you kids were down here." 

"Not kids," Diego said. He could stand looking like this, but he'd be damned if he let people talk about him like that. 

"You sure you should be doing this with your injuries?" Clint asked. 

Diego rolled his eyes, annoyed. "They're almost completely healed. Is Steve coming?" 

"Yeah, he's talking to Luther right now. Him and Bucky should be down in a minute, and Sam said he'd drop by." 

"Is Natasha coming?" Vanya asked, having to look up from where she was bent, trying to touch her toes. 

"Nah, she's got a spa day with Pepper. They've had it planned for weeks, and it's not like she had to be here. I'll be sure to tell her that she was missed, though," Clint said with a suggestive wink. He seemed pretty unconcerned about people crushing on his girlfriend, but he was probably used to it. 

Vanya blushed. "No, I- that's not what I meant." 

"Maybe it should've been what you meant," Klaus said, bringing his knees up and resting his arms on them. "She's pretty, and we all know how you feel about the pretty ones. I'm sure Clint knows how we all feel." 

"Speak for yourself, man," Diego said. 

"You don't think she's pretty." 

"Eh." 

Klaus peered at him. "Are you gay? I thought you had a girlfriend? Two girlfriends. Lila and- oh, what was her name. The cop one." 

He should be impressed that Klaus managed to remember Patch at all, but mostly he was pissed. Eudora and Lila weren't on the same level. In the slightest. He'd liked Lila, but they'd only known each other for a couple months. He'd had a whole ass relationship with Eudora. They'd dated for over two years before breaking up, and they'd remained something like friends afterwards. He liked Lila, but comparatively to Patch, she was a blip on the radar. "Shut up." 

"I'm going to take that as a no on being gay, then." 

"Yeah, you do that.” It’s not like Klaus needed to know who he was attracted to. “You ready, Vanya?" 

She straightened. "Yep, totally," she said, her confidence unconvincingly faked. 

"Make a fist like you're going to punch someone." 

"Am I punching you?" she asked, alarmed. 

"You're not ready for that. Make a fist." 

He was still trying to teach her how to throw a punch when everyone else showed up. All of his siblings were there, even Five. Though, Five was similarly dressed to Klaus in that it was obvious he had no intention of joining. He walked over and joined him on the bench while everyone else meandered to the center of the room for warm-up stretches. 

Allison was dressed like she was about to do a photoshoot-- a photoshoot for athletic clothes, but a photoshoot nonetheless-- and Diego couldn't help but comment on it. "You planning on walking the red carpet after you're done here?" 

"Maybe," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Then she cracked a smile. "Can I take that to mean I look good?" 

"Always," Diego said with a wink. 

A few minutes passed, and Diego was testing his patience with this. He knew that Vanya was trying her best, but there was no getting around the fact that she was a beginner and all he wanted to do was pound on the sandbag in the corner until he felt the familiar burn in his arms. Bucky must've been watching, because he walked over and said, "I can help her if you wanted to do something else. If that's okay with you, of course," he added to Vanya. 

Vanya glanced between them. "Yeah, I'd be fine with that, if you wanted a break Diego." 

"Sure." Then, to Bucky, "Thanks." 

Bucky nodded in acknowledgement, and Diego stepped to the side for Bucky to take his place. 

"You got any tape?" Diego asked, raising one hand and wiggling his fingers so there was no confusion what type of tape he meant. 

Bucky pointed towards one of the walls. "Top drawer, closest to us. You need help putting it on?" 

"I should be good," Diego said, shaking his head. He clapped Vanya on the shoulder and smiled before he left, hoping that it came across as encouraging-- which is what he'd meant it as. 

The drawer that Bucky had indicated had nothing _but_ tape. How often did these people wail on the bag? Jesus christ. He pulled out one that was already started and leaned against the wall as he put it on. This place might be completely unfamiliar, what with the office building that doubled as a housing option for superheroes and the gym that took up a quarter of a floor, but the sound of the tape as it unrolled around his hand was as recognizable to him as his family was. 

He finished his left hand and moved the tape to do his right. He'd done this too many times for the lines to be uneven, even though it wasn't his dominant hand doing the work. He tossed the tape back into the drawer when he was done and walked over to the bag, giving his arms a quick stretch as he went. 

He didn't pay attention to what everyone else was doing. His memory had taken care of getting his hands taped, but it took him long enough to find a rhythm that he knew his months in the asylum had done a number. Either that, or it was because he was a fucking teenager again and barely knew his own body. This whole thing was a pain in the ass, but it kept him from getting distracted by what the others were up to. 

When he was done, breathing heavily, the first thing he saw-- because it was the closest thing to him-- was that Vanya had learned how to punch and was working on using her elbows now. He looked over and saw that Allison and Sam were having fun with the free weights. Luther and Steve were at the bench press, with more weights on the bar than the weight of everyone in the room combined. 

There was a small boxing ring on the other side of the gym, and that's where Klaus and Five had relocated. Klaus was sitting with his legs dangling and his arms resting on one of the ropes. Five was standing, leaning back against the ring with his legs splayed out in front of him and his arms crossed over his chest. If he was so bored, Diego didn't understand why he hadn't left. 

Looking at Five had been a mistake, but he hadn't realized it until he'd already looked him up from his feet all the way to his hair. His blood was pumping, and paying too much attention to Five would just make it worse. He wasn't about to risk giving himself an erection in front of everyone, but maybe jerking off would make him feel better. He'd go, take a nice, long shower, and be set for the rest of the day. 

He turned his attention back to Luther and Steve, and lifted the bottom of his tank top up to wipe at his forehead. He was still at the stage of exercise where the sweat on his body didn't disgust him-- and as long as he wasn't injured, being sweaty also served to make his sex drive rev up. Between teenage hormones, his days long obsession with Five, and exercising, he needed to get the hell out of here. 

He started to head for the door, not giving Five a second glance. If he looked at him again, he was either going to pop a stiffie before he managed to leave, or he was going to stay and do some bullshit posturing that would get seen through in a flat second. Neither option sounded good, so he only paused for a second when Bucky said, "You done?" 

"Yeah, for now." 

Bucky nodded and turned back to helping Vanya, and Diego made the rest of the trip uninterrupted. 

Once he was in the elevator, he started unwrapping his hands. The doors opened, and he continued to get it off as he walked to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water, then went to his room and closed the door. He sat on the bed and sipped at the water as he finished unwrapping his hands. He let the tape sit in a pile next to him as he finished the bottle of water, then he got to his feet and tossed it all in the trash. 

In the bathroom, he pulled off the tank top and let it fall onto the ground. Since all he wanted to do was hop in the shower, he didn't bother to grab new clothes. His bedroom door was shut, and it's not like anyone was going to storm in. He closed the bathroom door then, and turned on the shower so the water would be warm by the time he stepped inside. 

Five warped next to him in the bathroom, and he jumped. "Jesus, Five! You ever heard of knocking?" 

"Mmhmm." 

Diego rolled his eyes. "That wasn't me actually asking, asshole, that was me telling you to get out. What if I'd been busy?" 

"Busy with what?" 

"I don't know," Diego said. 

Five raised an eyebrow, and Diego started to blush. They both knew that he meant masturbating, but he wasn't about to say it out loud. Not when that was exactly what he wanted to be doing right now, and especially not when Five was the focus of all his dirty thoughts. 

"Did you need something?" Diego asked. 

"You left the gym," Five stated. 

One day, Diego was going to get annoyed enough about him avoiding questions that he was going to scream. "So?" 

Five's eyes flicked down to his bare chest and reached out a hand. The back of his fingers made contact with Diego's skin, which didn't answer a damn thing. He kept hoping that Five would give him an answer, but he trailed his hand slowly down, over his stomach. Diego couldn't possibly hope to hide the way he shivered at that, nor the way his skin raised with goosebumps. When he got to Diego's bellybutton and didn't look like he was planning on stopping, Diego grabbed his wrist. 

"What the hell are you doing?" 

Five looked back up, his gaze quiet and intense. "Do you want me to stop?" 

It was like an exact replay of last night. Five had touched him, he'd enjoyed it too much, and he asked Five what he was doing. Instead of answering and giving away any sign of his intentions, Five just asked if Diego wanted him to stop. Just like last night, Diego didn't know what to say. He didn't know if he could admit that he wanted for Five to touch him and to touch him _more_. He didn't know why Five was touching him to begin with, much less why he'd want to continue. 

It felt like last night...

but it wasn't. It was the same way they'd talked to each other last night, but it didn't _feel_ the same. 

The light was on, and they were facing each other. Five didn't hear silence and assume that he should back off like he'd done last night. He was holding Diego's eye, waiting for an answer. Diego couldn't lie to Five's face-- not with a surety of success, and not right now because he didn't want to. With Five's hand still on him, waiting, he could feel the way Diego's breath was faster than it had been before. Because Diego had been exercising, he might be able to feel the blood thrumming through his veins. Hell, with the way his heart was jack-rabbiting, Five might very well be able to _see_ the effect he was having on him. Diego could feel Five's pulse poking at his finger from the hold he had on his wrist. Based on that alone, he would think that Five was just as worked up as he was, but his face was as calm as ever. 

"Why are you doing this?" Diego asked. 

"I've seen you looking." 

Diego flinched, stepping back and letting his hand slip away from Five's arm. He’d tried to hide it, but he’d been far from subtle. "Sorry," he said, his hand out behind him as he reached for the door. He cast his eyes down automatically. He started to turn the knob so he could leave. "I won't-" 

"Wait!" 

Diego froze, eyes going back to him. 

His hand was half outstretched, like he wanted to drag Diego back in but knew he was too far away, and there had been a definite note of panic in his voice. Five's throat worked. "Don't," he managed to say. The water falling from the shower head meant that he couldn't whisper it, but his voice wasn't exactly strong. _Don't leave. Don't go._ Five was never going to finish saying it out loud, but so long as he looked at Diego like he meant it, it worked just as well. 

It was almost enough for him, but he needed something more. A confirmation that this meant something to him other than a hand that wasn't his own. "What do you want?" he asked, and he didn't have to elaborate on what he was talking about. 

They hadn't said much, but everything that had gone unsaid was loud to Five. His throat worked again. Five didn't say things that he wanted aloud, apparently. That he was trying at all was a testament to what this meant to him, but Diego wanted to hear it. If Five couldn't say anything, he'd kiss him and deal with the consequences later. But if he could just get Five to say flat out what he wanted, he'd be able to sleep a little easier tonight. 

Five swallowed thickly. There were spots of color across his cheeks, pink and splotchy. Had they been there before? He hadn't noticed them. He'd thought that Five had been completely unaffected until a few seconds ago, but maybe he'd missed it. He licked his lips, then said, his voice unsteady and shaking, "I want you to fuck me so hard I can't think about anything but you." 

Diego grabbed Five's hand and yanked him close, kissing him without another thought. He let go of his hand to wrap his arms around his shoulders, almost like they were hugging. Five responded immediately, leaning into it and curling a hand around Diego's neck while the other went around his waist. Five's hands tightened when Diego curled his tongue, and when his fingernails scraped against his scalp, Diego moaned. Little tingles went from his head all the way down to his toes, and he held Five tighter against him. He felt like he was on a goddamn hair-trigger, already hardening in his sweatpants. 

He pulled away, only enough to breathe, and they both panted into the air they were sharing. "We can't right now. It's almost lunch; they'll be expecting us." Plus they didn't have lube or condoms. Kind of necessary for what Five wanted, and if Diego was going to give him what he wanted, they wouldn’t be able to wrap it up in an hour and then be comfortable around other people. 

Five's hands on him tightened to the point of pain. "You _can't_ leave me like this." 

"I wasn't planning on it," Diego said, giving him a quick, dirty kiss that had Five's grip loosening back to normal. "Just-" he glanced at the shower, still running. "One second." He pulled away and reached over to turn off the shower. When he turned back around, Five was gone. He opened the bathroom door and saw that Five had locked the door to his room, and then with a warp, Five was in front of him, pulling him down for another kiss. 

If Diego had his old body, he'd reach down and lift Five up, but he didn't trust this one to be able to do it. It meant that their path to the bed was filled with awkward shuffling, and breaking apart long enough for a few quick steps before they were kissing again. Kissing Five was _addictive,_ and he never wanted to stop. 

He wasn't surprised in the least when Five shoved him back on the bed and then crawled on top of him. 

Five smirked a little, and Diego started to smile back automatically. "What?" 

"You'll fuck anyone that says they want to," he said, clearly referencing Lila. 

Diego froze, the smile abruptly falling off his face. He shoved Five off of him and sat up. "You're such a piece of shit," he said, and was proud of himself for not stuttering, though he did notice that he was shaking a little. Five did all of this to prove a point? Only _he_ would go such stupid lengths to prove a point. Shithead had a compulsive need to be right about everything, all the time, in every possible way, and fuck anyone that got hurt in the process. 

Five straightened, his hands clenched at his sides as if he was angry, but his face was once again blank. 

"I was trying to take a fucking shower, and then you show up and-" Diego stopped before he could stumble over his words and grit his teeth together. 

Five moved, and Diego closed his eyes defeatedly, expecting that he was leaving. He didn't expect for Five to appear behind him, noticeable only as a weight on the bed. He put a hand on Diego's shoulder. When Diego didn't jerk away from it, he let his fingers settle into place, curved like they belonged there. It was a dangerous thought to be having when he was more likely to punch Five than kiss him. 

"Let me guess," Diego said, his voice quiet. "You thought 'hey that brother's hot, and he's dumb enough to let me fuck him'?" 

"No," Five replied, just as quietly. 

"Then what was it?" 

Five didn't answer. He didn’t take his hand off of Diego’s shoulder. He didn’t move at all, not even to shift his weight. 

Diego wasn't going to let silence work this time, but he also didn't feel like pushing. He just wanted to get in the shower and wash off; his interest in jerking off while thinking about Five had been effectively killed. "Yeah, that's what I thought." He shrugged off Five's hand and got to his feet. He walked to the bathroom and didn't glance behind him.


End file.
